What can I do

[Trishy1960]

I pop in to make sure my elderly neighbour is ok, I also do shopping, get her papers, garden, and cook meals now and then. I have just came back from 4 days away and another neighbour asked if I knew she was in hospital, her daughter is staying at hers and has not informed me of how she is. Ive seen the daughter going in and out but seems as though she doesnt want to speak. Others have asked on her mothers wellbeing but she doesnt say anything. I feel I have been used and dont know what to do. Any suggestions

I would pop round and speak to the neighbour's DD, Op. She might not actually know how much support you have given to her mum.

Moving forward are you happy to continue? It's ok if you feel that you don't want to do it anymore, you say that you feel used?

She may just be exhausted and very worried
You have been neighbourly, one day someone may do the same for you.

Just ask her how her mum is. If she doesn’t answer, she doesn’t answer. It’s lovely of you to have taken care of your neighbour. The daughter really should have been doing that but we don't know the circumstances. Don’t feel used, feel good that you help out a neighbour.

Thanks to all your replies. The family do know what I do for their mam and I understand she will be worried. However the son always speaks to everyone but the 2 daughters dont. Maybe I brought it on myself offering my support to their mother.

Do you think they feel envious of your relationship with their mum? Is the mum grateful? If you didn't help out this way, would they step in? Do they live nearby? So many questions! But as always, context is everything. Maybe the DD is just an ungracious person. Some people are. I don't think you can blame the NDN for her DD not speaking to you.
How does the other NDN know about her being in hospital? Most importantly, what do you want to do? Could you ring the hospital and ask about visiting? You're her friend, after all. Or as PP said, just wait. But in what way do you now feel used, if you didn't before?

Thanks. The other neighbour found out as he was at his door when she went into her mothers so she told him. He therefore asked me if I knew. I live in a cul de sac of 12 houses and everyone looks out for one another. Im getting asked how she is from others and I have no answers. Maybe saying I feel used is the wrong word, maybe I am dissappointed