Am I too noise sensitive?

[Solomonsmum]

We live in a semi in a very quiet neighbourhood. Had two sets of attached neighbours with no problem. Current neighbours ( since 2000) have a 2 1/5 year old and a newborn. Bar the odd colicky night we hear very little and they seem good parents. She keeps to herself and we don’t know her really. He is quiet in personality but friendly and has a professional job. The problem is now and then their family visit - usually 3/4 car loads including kids up to about 8. They come lunchtimes and say to late. The family shout, allow kids to scream in play ( not usual playground noise of fun full on shrieking). it’s audible in almost all our house save one bedroom and the kitchen and bathroom and the garage which is converted to a sort of playground cum art room. (I work in art) so we retreat to one of those to wait it out. We built ‘she shed’ which is heated so in the winter we can sit there but in the summer they spill into the garden so that’s useless. It’s not a party - more a gathering. Occasionally with a BBQ. There’s no music just raucous adult voices and uncontrolled kids. So loud I can hear them while wearing AirPod pros on noise cancelling with music on. It’s not the voices of our neighbours only their visitors.
I’m finding it very upsetting and it makes me anxious and hyper-vigilant for it starting. I want them to respect that we have our home here, but I don’t want to fall out with them.
After putting up with it all today I suggested to my husband that we go round tomorrow and ask if they would tell us in advance if they are going to have a gathering of family. That way we can take ourselves off for a long day out or go to visit my parents who would put us all up overnight. I don’t think I should have to but removing ourselves and having a family day out seems to make the best of it. My husband is dubious that’s a good idea believing if they are so unaware they are not likely to see the need to do us the favour.
Am I turning into one if those cranky neighbours who complain about totally normal behaviour? Would you be offended if someone asks for a heads up you were planning a gathering? ?

Is it very often? I'd wait and see what things are like when the newborn is a little older so they are more able to go see family rather than have people to theirs, and the school holidays are over so it'll be weekends only probably if there are school age kids visiting. I think you probably are a bit sensitive here and should maybe bear in mind anything you say will be to very tired people who may well be struggling with sleep etc and it could be very much taken to heart. I expect it's all just quite new and will pan out.

It’s not all the time no which is why I thought it appropriate I left rather than actually complaining. We thought the first times were one off drinking session with friends when they first moved in ( the first time we did nicely explain that we could hear them so se assumed they just didn’t realise noise carried) . That time was 4am and they apologised. Then they had a housewarming and it was 2am keeping us awake and we said something. Since then it’s daytime only stopping eleven ish ( save New Years Eve) and we thought it was as you say just visitors when they first had the first child but it’s ongoing. I actually think it’s good that the cousins get to play together so I don’t to stop the gatherings just either the adults to keep the noise level to normal or to be able to absent myself. As I say it’s not them it’s one set of visitors in particular.

It does sound very annoying but I don't think I'd say anything.

But how often is this happening — weekly? Fortnightly?

I sympathise.

IMO I don't see why it should upset them if they let you know when they have one of these days in the calendar. It's one text to you each time. Considering the help it would give you and your family I would say it is not too much to ask.

But then I would feel exactly the same as you in this situation. Hopefully if you ask calmly and politely, they won't take offence. Only one thing, I would go round alone, not with your husband, otherwise it might come across as more aggressive. Possibly.

And don't be apologetic, just thankful. They are the thoughtless ones.

I have noisy neighbours - playing crap music loudly in the summer. I'm an early riser - so in the spirit of mutual selfishness, I do early gardening the morning after.

To ask for notice is not ureasonable if you find it intollerable. But I would explain that you are prticularly sensitive to noise to help them understand that you are not being difficult.

The children will grow up and get quieter and be on screens. Fine to ask for a heads up but I do think you’re being a bit sensitive as it’s not often. But then I think it’s lovely to hear children playing. Just explain you’re a bit noise sensitive and would prefer to be out when they have family gatherings. Otherwise long term maybe move to a detached cottage in the country and hear your neighbours using hedge trimmers and mowing all day long!