Ever had an Epiphany?

[BluebellGrace]

A moment when your head clears and you see things / people/ situations for what they really are ? Mine was in a job where I was being bullied and taken advantage of . Halfway through one miserable day it was like my head cleared and I just thought " Fuck It " got up cleared my desk and walked . Never looked back .

Yes. Bumped into a man I used to know and within 1 minute of talking, realised that I had never felt so comfortable, so at ease. It was like coming home finally. Realised I’ve married the entirely wrong man and had children with entirely the wrong man. It was like being flattened by an express train. Absolutely took my breath away. Everything I’d not done 20 years ago hit me all at once and what I should’ve done was clear to me.

It’s too late though. I’m not splitting up my family, nor make him try to split up his. No way. I’m just going to live with the knowledge, and this feeling of weird grief for something I never even had until I don’t have to see him anymore and he fades into memory. I hope!

I realise this is quite an old thread but seeing as no one else had replied, thought I’d drop a reply in! I hope you’ve found the job you want and are much happier.

Thank you .I am retired now so it's all behind me .

That’s good to hear. I’m doing my best to make positive changes in other parts of my life. Wishing you all the best for a happy retirement!

Your story made me feel so sad.
Like Brief Encounter.
sorry for your situation 💔

Yes.

Many years ago I used to smoke and had tried to give up quite a few times.

I was sat in the pub about to light a cigarette and I genuinely felt like I had been hit by a lightning bolt or a message from God (I’m not even religious). I knew that I didn’t ever want or need to smoke ever again and I gave up so easily.

It was the only time something like that has happened to me. It was deep.

It's such a moment of clarity. When your head clears .

This is a recent one and I'm pondering how to deal with it going forward... but one day I was excited and enthusiastic about something and my husband just poured cold piss on it... I felt it like a gut punch... and my head swam with clarity as I realised: 'He ALWAYS does this! And it is EXACTLY what my father used to do!' 😵

Suddenly I could see the pattern of why I seem to have lost my enthusiasm and drive for so much... and I realise that, every time I plan a project or an improvement to my life, or even just something innocuous that he doesn't want to do, he will suck all the energy out of it... not by saying openly 'No, don't do that', because I have enough feistiness left that I would hand him his arse, and he knows it... but just with a general wet blanket attitude, withholding, silently disapproving... throwing an anchor out to drag the life out of anything I try or want to do.

I can see it comes from his own anxieties about life, but it ends up being controlling. It's a long-held habit - decades - and will be hard to break but I'm really going to try... But I can see that I fell into the patterns of it because it's how I was brought up...

Thank you for opening discussion on this... 🤔

I’d love to have an epiphany. I need one

If you know you need one - then you already have !

This happened to me but about my drinking last year just after I turned 47. I'd been a problem drinker for a while, especially since lockdown.

I'm atheist and would never occurred to me it that it could be interpreted as a message but you've really made me think..

I've had several epiphanies in my life. One was a decision to leave everything and travel the world. It was a lyric in a song I loved, it reminds me of feeling positive and wrong and independent after destructive relationships in my 20s and I'm really proud of myself now for doing it.

*Strong not wrong!

Yes, I left a friend's birthday party a couple of years ago after having a moment of clarity along the lines of 'This guy isn't my friend and his friends are aresholes'. He hadn't treated me or my husband well. Didn't make a scene, just left and didn't see him again.

Did he try and get in touch ?

Yes, he messaged me to catch up a few months later but I didn't respond. I know that's not nice, I'd be more direct with him now. I didn't hear from him again, he probably also felt the friendship had run its course.

I couldn't swim - had swimming lessons as a child but just kept sinking.
In my 40s, on holiday and wondering how I was going to teach my kids to swim, I realised it was like riding a bike and I just needed to go faster.
Suddenly, I could swim. It was amazing.

I had one. It wasn’t totally out of the blue. I’d been married for 13+ years. My marriage wasn’t great. A couple of friends (who don’t know each other) had said his behaviour was controlling. I’d been having counselling. H said something awful to me, about what he thought of me. I had a moment of horror that his opinion of me was so low, then I had the epiphany. The thought went through my head: ‘that’s not true. That’s a lie you tell yourself to justify your behaviour towards me’. It was a glass shatter/scales fall from the eyes moment. I ended the marriage a few weeks after that. Best decision I ever made.

I had one this morning.

We are visiting my toxic in laws. I try to be supportive for my partner, but every time we come it makes her physically ill. Her mother is manipulative and toddler-like. MIL’s health is worsening and she refuses to accept any responsibility for it by, eg, taking her prescribed medicines at the right time. Partner’s father is an awful controlling man who continues to try to control my partner despite them being nearly 50.

I realised this morning that I’m done and will not be facilitating future visits. It was quite refreshing, actually. Turns out a front of raging PMS combined with worse than usual toddler tantrums from MIL was ideal.

Sorry, not the lighthearted response you were after probably 😂

Yea, the one and only time I smoked a joint. I had a horrible moment of clarity and I never did that again