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Ethical dilemmas

Boastful mothers

5 replies

ORLt · 11/08/2023 21:27

DD's birthday at home, DD is 6. Parents drop children and gifts off and leave. Entertainer ready. One mum sails in, pushes her daughter forward and says 'A (child's name) composed a 'present' for E (DD) and would like to play it for her now. (Situation: both our children started in the same music class, but hers is a much better pianist and progressed quickly. I never compared the two girls, but when her daughter was chosen to play at a competition, dd and I went to support her and brought flowers). I was furious with this mother wanting to switch all the attention to her child at the party and said - she will play it later, we have a programme planned, thank you, collect A at 20.00. Now DH says it was petty, pathetic and rude. Is he right?

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frootito · 11/08/2023 21:43

Sorry but I think you are a bit. Maybe it was her mother being pushy. Or maybe the kid composed a song for your DD and wanted to play it. Does it really matter? (Genuine question not snark).

Personally I don't really go for anyone being a special banana and the centre of attention even on their birthday. Certainly not at the expense of a 6 year olds feelings, even if she was performing at her mothers request.

I totally understand how annoying boastful parents are - but it's usually covering their own insecurities so maybe you could just have a laugh about it (when it's just you and DH obvs)

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WolfFoxHare · 11/08/2023 21:47

Nah. Much more sympathy with the birthday girl being the ‘special banana’ - whatever that means - at her own birthday party than some random guest making herself centre of attention.

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Motnight · 11/08/2023 21:48

A 6 year old's birthday party lasting until 8! Blimey.

In relation to your question Op, how did you keep a straight face?!

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ORLt · 11/08/2023 21:57

No, I did not keep a straight face!

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BetsyBobbins · 11/08/2023 23:59

frootito · 11/08/2023 21:43

Sorry but I think you are a bit. Maybe it was her mother being pushy. Or maybe the kid composed a song for your DD and wanted to play it. Does it really matter? (Genuine question not snark).

Personally I don't really go for anyone being a special banana and the centre of attention even on their birthday. Certainly not at the expense of a 6 year olds feelings, even if she was performing at her mothers request.

I totally understand how annoying boastful parents are - but it's usually covering their own insecurities so maybe you could just have a laugh about it (when it's just you and DH obvs)

So you thinks it's a "bit" rude that a woman defend the right of her daughter to be star of the day on her own birthday? I have no words...

OP, you did well! Regarding your husband not understanding, men never see things from the same point of view of a woman. I went through several situations similar to that with my husband where I had to explain I wasn't being rude but defending my son. Stand your ground

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