Soon to be father in law cheating

[needhelpgivelove]

What would you do if your partners dad is cheating and you're the only one (I'm assuming) who knows. I don't want to get involved but is it wrong to withhold this information? Should I tell my partner? Should I tell his mum? Should I mention to his dad how I know. I don't know what to do. It's heartbreaking.

[helloelsie]

This isn't something you can keep from your partner. Tell them first and decide what to do next together. Sorry you're in this situation, it can't be easy.

[Lemonfoxtrot]

It pains me to say this, but I’d say nothing.

People have a habit of shooting the messenger. If you tell the MIL, she may resent you. She may even already know. likewise your partner.

If you confront PIL and it later comes out that you knew, you will not be popular with anyone.


what is your partner’s relationship like with his dad ( and his mum) ?

[BIWI]

I'd tell your soon-to-be FIL that you know.

[rwalker]

Keep out of it

[needhelpgivelove]

@Lemonfoxtrot

It pains me to say this, but I’d say nothing.

People have a habit of shooting the messenger. If you tell the MIL, she may resent you. She may even already know. likewise your partner.

If you confront PIL and it later comes out that you knew, you will not be popular with anyone.


what is your partner’s relationship like with his dad ( and his mum) ?

He's really close to his dad. This is what worries me. I don't want to ruin a family and I also am scared my partner won't believe me. Then I lose my partner. Which I understand sounds so selfish. All I know is, I was cheated on in the past and that pain is so real but I'm glad I found out because then I could move on and eventually find someone who deserves my love, if that makes sense. I'm so lost

[needhelpgivelove]

@helloelsie

This isn't something you can keep from your partner. Tell them first and decide what to do next together. Sorry you're in this situation, it can't be easy.

Thank you for your caring comment. I'm so confused. It's not my secret to keep but it's also not my secret to tell. I've been cheated on in the past though and putting someone else through that pain breaks my heart but I keep thinking, she deserves so much better. She deserves to find someone who loves her as much as she loves them. It's so stressful

[Lemonfoxtrot]

@helloelsie makes a good point. Tell your partner and see what he wants to do about the situation.

but don’t do anything by yourself. This is your DP’s family.

are you 100% sure about what you saw?

[ChrisPPancake]

My tuppence worth - if you 100% know for actual fact then I'd discuss with your partner. If it's from gossip or hearsay then do nothing.