Moving away and 18 year old doesn’t want to

[Sarahseniornurse42]

I’ll try keep it brief. My partner and I broke up 6 months ago and he moved back to his home county 250 miles away, I broke up with him but we have managed to reconcile, we love each other dearly. It was a very difficult time when we broke up and I was distraught, my daughter was aware of how painful this was for me.
We live in a very rural location and he lives in the city. Work is very sparse here and if he moved back he would have to take an approx 10k wage drop, although he is prepared to move back. I can move anywhere with my job so it’s easier to move than him. There are amazing job opportunities for me in the city and it actually really excites me to be able to live a more upbeat life having always lived in the country. I really love the thought of having family support (I live 200miles away from my family).
so I have 2 daughters one who lives at home with me and she’s 18, the other is 22 and lives an hour away in university. My 18 is never at home as she has a boyfriend an hour away, so she’s spends most of her time over there. So currently I love most of the time alone. But ultimately she does officially live with me. My 22 and her boyfriend have now finished university and is looking to move back near her boyfriends home city, which happens to be the same city as my partner.
here’s my dilemma, my 18 year old does not want to move to the city. I haven’t completely told her I’d like to move but she’s voiced she would never like to away from her boyfriend. She does work part time in our local hospital but doesn’t really have a career path as such just yet.
if I tell her I’d like us to move away and she says she doesn’t want to come with me id be worried. She’s 18 but a very young 18 year old and I’d say quite vulnerable. She’s not financially stable either.
does anyone have some advice for me please? I’m a bit desperate.
thanks in advance.

I think you have a duty to your daughter till her life and employment is stable. Whatever broke you and your partner up 6 months ago could split you again. I get that it's annoying she's always with her boyfriend though

I can see why you're struggling with what to do. I don't think there's a clear right and wrong to be honest, the thing that would worry me is that you split up and although it's great you're giving it another go, its a huge risk to take to move miles away to be with him again in case it doesn't work out as well as your DD.

She is 18 and on the one hand what you want to do is of course very important and children shouldn't dictate your life forever; on the other you acknowledge she is young for her age and quite vulnerable, it's still fairly young really. If he is willing to relocate to you personally I'd push for that for now and remember it's not forever. It gives her time to get used to it and make appropriate plans etc, you to explore jobs where you'd move to and see what you want to do, check the relationship is as you plan without making such a huge move and if its on the table for the near future it might be an exciting time rather than a stressful one you're conflicted on.