Drink driving

9 replies

AuburnLeaves · 30/05/2023 12:51

My sister's marriage broke up a few years ago and she has a new partner. He's a heavy drinker but never seems drunk or even tipsy - if you know what I mean.
So at lunch, he'd easily polish off a bottle of wine (or more) with my sister and do the same again in the evening. He encourages everyone around them to drink too – even offering my 14-year-old a glass of wine on one occasion (I don't realize till after the event).
My sister says he can carry his drink and isn't affected. I know this is must be untrue, whatever she may wish for!
We recently had a family celebration at a country pub. He and my sister were both driving due to the number of people involved. He had a good few glasses of wine plus beer, and she certainly had at least two glasses of wine plus a G and T. Their kids were there and they both drove.
I'm so upset about it as I can't bear to think of people on the roads under the influence. And also upset about their kids being in the cars, and also the example they are setting to their kids in normalizing it. I didn't say anything at the pub as I hadn't really taken on board what she was drinking. It was my husband who noticed and said afterwards.
How can I broach this with her? I don't want to cause a rift and I just feel that's going to happen. But I can't stand back and say nothing.

OP posts:

UndertheHawthornTree86 · 30/05/2023 12:54

Next time you know they're going to drink and drive, call the police.

bibbityboppityboo · 30/05/2023 13:04

As PP said ring the police and tell them there's a drunk driver you know is on the road. Give them the car reg and they might be able to catch and breathalyse them.

Also is a rift the worst thing that could happen? You must know it's not - they could kill themselves or someone else by driving drunk. It's also a horrendous example to set to the DC. I think you need to make a stand and accept the rift - do you want to be a bystander in this situation?

purpleboy · 30/05/2023 13:16

Call the police, imagine how you would feel if they killed their children or an innocent person and you knew they were driving drunk. I'm not sure I could live with myself.

gogohmm · 30/05/2023 13:23

I would inform the police, you will never forgive yourself if they kill somebody

BlastedPimples · 30/05/2023 14:48

Drink drivers are wankers. No two ways about it.

Call the police on them.

thedevilinablackdress · 30/05/2023 16:44

I wouldn't care who they are and what the potential fallout would be. They could kill themselves, their children and anyone else on the road or pavement on their route. Tell your sister you cannot see this again without taking action.

AmandaHoldensLips · 30/05/2023 16:49

Is your sister aware that he's an alcoholic? Does she also have an alcohol dependency problem?

ItsAllGoneToHellAgain · 30/05/2023 16:51

UndertheHawthornTree86 · 30/05/2023 12:54

Next time you know they're going to drink and drive, call the police.

Yep.

There is no dilemma op. I’d be telling my sibling that a drunken driver isn’t welcome to any of our get togethers. I would feel so responsible if he hit someone on the way home because the police hadn’t stopped him in time. I wouldn’t want to be in his company, or hers as she’s just as bad for not taking his keys & phoning a taxi.

Original poster

AuburnLeaves · 30/05/2023 18:26

The thing is we live in different parts of the country and I won’t see them again for a while.
I’m so upset that my sister has been sucked into such a toxic set up … her last husband was lovely and she left him for this man … well that’s how it appears from the outside. I guess she wasn’t happy if she needed to leave but I can’t see how she can be happy now.
I feel so angry with her but I also want to ‘rescue’ or help her - but I don’t know how to proceed. I feel she’s lacking in esteem - this character is hugely overbearing. He normalises drinking and never seems affected by what he drinks but I guess he’s still an alcoholic.

OP posts:

Flip