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Ethical dilemmas

Ukrainian found love ?

4 replies

Kalabata · 08/03/2023 06:21

My Ukrainian refugee has started dating since last Valentine's day. She is single with grown up children back in Ukraine. She has a room in my house under the Homes for Ukraine scheme. She does not speak at all about the man so I don't know anything about him.
She has met him so far in his car which he drives aggressively away. What do I do if she starts bringing him into the house during the night ?
He is a complete stranger to me. I had to have a DBS Police check before I was allocated a refugee. I don't want to have to hide credit cards etc in my untidy house. Any thoughts would be welcome!

OP posts:
WednesdaysPlaits · 08/03/2023 06:22

No guests. That’s it. She’s a guest herself, she doesn’t get to invite guests into your house

threeplusmum · 08/03/2023 06:25

Make it clear no guests are allowed, especially at night or when you aren't at home. You did a good thing by opening up your home but now things get a bit messy as she will want to push the envelope more. Have people round etc just be clear and firm.

MeMyCatsAndMyBooks · 08/03/2023 06:44

Just tell her under no circumstances is she to bring guests over, if she wants guests she's to move out.

claudd · 20/03/2023 13:33

I think 'no guests' is a bit harsh, as you open your house to them, they live there, it's their house too. But if somebody is going to sleep in the house, that's different. Start by asking to meet this man. Treat this as if it was a member of the family bringing a boyfriend, sometimes you would have suspicions too and would be try to assess the individual in question, rather than just ban him. Banning him could make things worse, as you could push her into the hands of traffickers or what have you.

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