Not treated the same as blood relatives for funeral

[CamiW]

I am in my 40's and my Step Nan (step mum's mum) has just died. My Step mum has been in my life for nearly 40 years. It looks like I am once again to be treated like an outsider, this time at her funeral. When my Step grandad died about 20 years ago, I was treated like an outsider - stood at the back of the church, while the blood relatives were at the front, inc grandchildren who are younger than me.
This is the only time this has happened - all other times I have been treated like another grandchild.
I feel so hurt and I'd love to hear other people's opinions? I know her passing is not all about me, but I feel so hurt and sad about how I'm being treated and it brings up the hurt from years ago.
Is it normal for 'step' grandchildren to be left out? Or would you treat everyone the same? Am I being unreasonable? How do I move on from the hurt?

Hi Op

It's understandable how you feel,
it's weird how normally they quite rightly treat you like part of their family as a grandchild,
But when it comes to a situation such as this, to mark a significant valued member of your family passing,
you are left outside on margins the peripheral of your family,
Doesn't make no sense whatever really,

How weird /Dysfunctional some families can be,

Take care

It's not you,
Rember your much loved now deceased member of family knows when she was alive, how much you thought of her Op

@CamiW this was me a while ago. Always called my step-gran gran. She was in my life for 35years. I was adopted by her son. Rang her every week. Sent her gifts for birthdays etc. When she died it was like I wasn’t thought of as her granddaughter. Stood at the back at the funeral. I got a fleeting mention and that was it. It hurt so much. I have no real advice but totally get it.

Hi Op

Just wondering if you could place a meaningful poem/letter or photo ect in her coffin or on top of her coffin ?

Hi Op

I don't know if you are spiritual kind of person or not?

I was thinking placing a candle 🕯 at home and doing mediation or prayer briefly for e.g 10 mins or so

Could support help start healing process

Also anything creative Arts is therapeutic too, allways will be

Obviously good bereavement counselling therapy ect too is available ,to talk to someone independently.

@Goodread1 what's with the massive gaps in your post?! I thought the screen had glitched!!!

Op can you speak to your dad about this and see what he says? Or can he speak to your stepmum? I assume you are close after 40 years?

I'm sorry for your loss.