Sexism against men

[Gemius]

I'm an elderly widower and each week I give a lady a lift to a club we belong to. Every now and then she gives me a dinner in a Tupperware box as a thank you. That's very nice but the problem is I don't like the food and I'm quite capable of feeding myself. My daughters say I should accept it, give thanks, and throw it away.
I don't disagree with that, but I also think it's a bit patronising. I don't think she'd do it if it was a widow giving her a lift.
Is she being sexist?

Is it still half term in some places?

Nope, she is trying to find a way to thank you..probably within her budget or becuase she doesn’t know enough about you to know what she could give instead. She maybe would give the odd bunch of flowers or plant if it was a women, so maybe sexist you’re not getting that. But not that she giving food. Lots of people give food as a thank you, gift or way of expressing love: god knows it’s fraught with issues where people show love through giving food to people who know they need to loose weight but once handed the temptation can’t resisit
maybe tell her nicely you really appreciate that she is thanking you and the thoughts she’s expressing are much appreciated, but unfortunately you don’t like it (or say you have allergy or a weird diet), and you’d much prefer for her to know she doesn’t need to do this and you know she’s grateful for lift…or something like that

Can't you tell her in a polite way that she doesn't need to give you food? Maybe say you wouldn't mind some cakes or biscuits or a bottle of wine every now and then? Although her baking might be awful...

I doubt it's sexiest more likely she's just thanking you. I'd explain politely it's not necessary.

I doubt it, as others have said she's trying to find a way to thank you within her means. Maybe you'd prefer a cake, but maybe she's crap at baking. Just be gracious.

Do as your daughter suggests and just take the food. You are reading far too much into it.

It's possible of course that she's giving you dinner because she thinks you maybe you don't have someone to cook for you and this is how she expresses care/affection. This might be influenced by the fact you're a man, but unless you're suggesting you've never practised old fashioned courtesy towards women then you don't really have a leg to stand on.

Graciousness is all that's required.

She's probably giving you a meal because she thought you would prefer it to a bunch of flowers, and she wants to show her appreciation for the lifts. What sort of token gift would you prefer?

Tell her that you think she's a shit cook, and that you think she's patronising and sexist to boot.

I can promise you will no longer be troubled by her

What's the food though, and why don't you like it?

You could claim to have IBS or allergies if it's really bad, but I'd need to know what she's cooking first

It’s not ok to insult a gift, especially a home made gift, you’re going to have to keep accepting them with a smile then throwing away. Just how it is.

Possibly she wants to thank you but is broke.

Or maybe she likes you romantically and she’s trying “The way to a man’s heart is through his stomach” thing. 😬

Maybe she's got an outdated rather sexist assumption a ot whether men can feed themselves, but I'm not sure how anyone can characterise a gift of food as 'sexism against men'. More like a sexism favouring men.

Thank you for your very sensible and sensitive replies. I shall proceed respectfully.

Women give other women food all the time especially as thankyou . I’m really lost why you’d think it was sexist but yes good answers here

And yes , If it wete , it would be sexism that favours men, as in - Women exist to look after men’s needs and men don’t know how to cook because they never learned as they have so many more important things to do with their lives.

My female neighbour brought me a pot beef stew and dumplings when I moved into my new flat, I am also a female. Gifts of food are not sexist, it's quite common with neighbours in my area