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Ethical dilemmas

Wife contacted ex

3 replies

Confuseddave · 10/10/2022 18:56

Hoping for some advice, recently had a friend suggested on Facebook with one mutual friend, my wife, not unusual but checked out the profile and found he was clearly someone she was at school with many years ago rather than a work colleague, now, this probably isn’t great but I know her log in details for Facebook, messenger etc, had a look and found she’d made the friend request and has been chatting to him on messenger, he’d asked who she married and if he knew them and she basically said afraid not, just someone I met at work. This flippant dismissal and her contact with him have made me feel really betrayed, so, should I ask her about it or am I worrying about nothing

OP posts:
catell01 · 10/10/2022 20:18

I'm not sure if it was flippant, she was just replying, confirming that she hasn't married anyone he knew.

Has something happened in the past to make you believe your wife cannot be trusted and you felt you had to go snooping behind her back?

Three ways you can go, I guess: ignore it and trust your wife; tell her the truth and admit you logged into her account and read her personal correspondence and explain your fears; or casually mention to her that this new 'suggested friend' keeps popping up and see if she tells you the truth or not.

Good luck

TheEponymousGrub · 21/10/2022 16:14

Are you saying that your reason for being suspicious (enough to snoop in her FB and Messenger accounts) was that the friend-suggestion was someone your wife knew at school? That is not a reasonable reaction to something so minor, is it? Reasonable would be to ask her if she was still friendly with him. Why did you not do that?

bellendoftheballs · 21/10/2022 16:18

You again?

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