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Ethical dilemmas

Dilemma

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Sunflower1970 · 06/09/2020 23:48

I have been best friends with Lara for 30 years and I have also been good friends with her husband for around 20 years. I am godmother to their children etc. We have always spent a lot of time together and have a deep friendship. I thought she was happily married to Peter until recently when she told me she was having an affair and in love with John. She has been corresponding with him by WhatsApp as he lives in a different country and showed me some of the messages but suggested to me that they hadn’t yet slept together but were both in. Love with each other and had been for years. He then flew over one weekend and they spent it together. She had started looking for jobs and houses etc and planning to be with John which made me think this relationship had been going on longer than she was admitting. Over the next few months she has told me things about Peter ie the way he treats her , tight with money, controlling et c etc and I feel she has been manipulating me to go against Peter and be sympathetic to her situation. Then she decided that she would stick with Peter and cut John off. I suggested talking to Peter to try and put right what Is wrong In Their marriage but she won’t talk to him. Last week I discovered that she is seeing John again. My dilemma is that Peter is bewildered why I haven’t been to visit them or text him like I used to. I can’t face him knowing the deception and scheming that is going on behind his back. I know we are best friends and should be able to confide but I feel so terrible,knowing what I know. She is putting pressure on me to visit them and act normal but I can’t face it. I find her behaviour so deceitful and I don’t know what to do. I don’t want to drop her in it or interfere in her marriage I just feel she should do the decent thing.

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