Should I tell her?

[Clift19]

Back story: my BFF and I have been friends for 10 years, during our friendship she was always the one that wanted to get married and have kids while it was never in my life plan. As usual life had different ideas and I got married last September and fell pregnant in the October. My BFF was happy for us but as my pregnancy progressed she was withdrawn and on occasion, mean. She later came and told me she was sorry and that it all stemmed from her jealousy that I had everything she wanted, but that she was genuinely happy for me and we've been great again since.
My husband and my family plans was always to have a biological child and then adopt a few years later. Since the birth of DD last month we have decided to have a second biological child (start ttc in April 2021) and adopting in 5-6 years. I haven't discussed this with my friend yet (we share EVERYTHING) as I don't know how she'll take it. I obviously don't want to hurt or upset her, but I don't know which will hurt her more, for me to tell her our plans now, or to just tell her when I'm actually pregnant.
If you were in her situation, when would you want to be told?

Imo this is a case of oversharing..

Keep some things just between yourself and your dh.

Please don't tell anyone when you're trying for a baby.

All you're doing is announcing that your having unprotected sex. Nobody needs to know that.

Just email or message when you do get pregnant.

I don't understand the need to tell people about TTC.

Seriously just tell her if and when you fall pregnant. No one needs to hear you’re trying to conceive.

I don’t get why you would tell her. You aren’t even planning on starting TTC for another nine months. She could be in a totally different position by then, or your plans might change.

Maybe you could just say to her that you think you might want another maybe in the future if you want to give her a heads up because she thinks you don’t want anymore children.

I’m assuming she is single but also how old is she? That make a difference in how this is handled. If she’s 22 it’s a whole different ball game to 42.

I wouldn't tell her. Keep some privacy.

Thanks. We don't plan on telling people we're ttc (we didn't with DD) it was only going to be heras I don't want to hurt her or her have the same reaction as last time. I think 'middleclassproblem' May be right and I'll just tell her we are considering another, then it's not 'telling her' but at least warning her it's a possibility.

Why do you need to share all this stuff with her?
It's none of her business.

She doesn't need to be "warned" that you may have another. As a pp said, that's just announcing that you are having unprotected sex with your husband. Far, far TMI. Yuk.

Is your husband happy that she is privy to plans which should just be between the two of you?

Agree there is no need to tell your friend of your family plans over 1-6 years time.

I personally don’t see anything wrong with sharing that your trying for a baby with just one friend. I’m not sure about what I would do OP. I can see why you don’t want it to come as a shock to your friend.

Perhaps you could drop that you don’t want to adopt and in the future you will be having a biological child.