My childs father might be a paedophile

[bettybumble]

I cant even express how difficult this is to write. My childs father said 'what if i am a paedophile' when i was 8.5 months pregnant. He also asked me if i was eating properly as bad nutrition causes paedophilia. He had mental health issues and i just thought he was being weird and drunk so pushed it to the back of my mind. Our relationship was awful, he was abusive and it took me a year to actually get him to leave my house. I tried to remain friends with him and noticed his behaviour was really getting out of control. Heavy drinking etc. I kept asking what was wrong. He said he had a horrific incident happen recently when he visited a friend but he wouldn't tell me. In December he told me what was troubling him. He had stayed wkth his friends and in got accused of truing to abuse their young son as they saw him goinf into their sons room at 4am. He said he was lost and looking for the loo. I couldn't help but think back to the weird things he had said and the photo and felt unable to know what to do. I got in touch witg the people he stayed with. They went to the police and social services snd reported it as a concern. They requested that he never contact them again. I have been at a loss of how to manage this situation. I was allowing him contact to he supervised by me but i felt so uncomfortable all the time and he began tk be just dreadful towards me during contact. I haven't allowed any contact since finding out a couple more things about the incident which i just cant ignore. I feel sick at the thought of him and never want him to see me or my daughter again. I have moved house so he doenst know where we live. I have be filed a couple of court orders to ensure that she is protected. I am so c
Scared of having to face him in court and i will feel devastated if they grant access. I am a mess emotionally and wonder if anyone can give me any advice or support as i feel so alone in this. Thank you

What photo?

He accidentally sent me a photo of our child covered in sexual swear words and said it was a mistake and that a caption had copied across.

Sounds very suspicious. No real advice but I would be doing everything in my power to protect DC from him as it sounds like you are.

I have no real advice but am bumping for you

Firstly go to the Police and ask for a Sarah’s Law disclosure. They will have to tell you within a certain time frame if he has actually been convicted of any child sex offences. You can obviously use this information if he tries to have unsupervised contact.

Did social services get involved when he was reported re the incident with his friends. I would be notifying them, they may offer some advice.

Keep that photo, no matter how unpleasant it may be. It is evidence in any future court proceedings. In fact, show it to the Police when you ask for the Sarah’s law disclosure.

If he is not seeking contact, good. If he does want contact, get a solicitor and use these examples to request contact to be in a contact centre.

Please contact the NSPCC OP. They may be able to help. The website has a helpline number attached.
www.nspcc.org.uk

Do all you can to keep him away from your child...if he has to have custody make sure it's in a contact centre and that he is never left alone with her...

I would suggest that you show the photo to the police, and ask their advice, making it clear that he has sent it to you and you are uncomfortable with it. It may come to nothing, but it may encourage them to get a warrant to check his devices for other images. I wouldn’t keep a copy of the image on my own phone long term without police advice, if found, it would be assumed to be your image as you are the one storing it.

He made me delete the photo and deleted it from my deleted items. I have tried to retreive it but its not possible. Even got a computer forensics company to look and as it was Gmail there is no trace of it

I think it’s very possible that your child’s father created the image with your child and the sexual swearwords and shared it with other paedophiles! You must tell the police about this photo, even though you’ve no longer got it. His tech needs removing by the police for searching.

Phone the police. Please just bloody phone them so that you can say you tried everything. Get advice from them. Sometimes all small clues lead to a conclusion.

Just to add there is nothing to say that is the only photo that exists! There could be more on his phone!

Repeating all the above PPs who advise you to go to the police. Paedophiles never abuse just one child - you can keep him away from your own, but if not stopped he could be abusing other people’s.
Please report your concerns, to save all his potential future victims.

Please go to the police, social services and NSPCC for advice.

Get as much support as you can and never let him near your child again.

I think you need to chat to the police. Even without a copy of the offending photo, your concerns added to whatever was reported may be enough for them to obtain a warrant and seize his computer etc and find out what he's really up to. It won't be immediate, but it's concerning enough to justify further investigation. In the meantime, I think you're right to keep him away from your daughter.
Much love. What a horrible situation you're in.

Why are you not reporting this to the police and social services? This is your child for goodness sake!

The photo alone would be enough for me to be honest sexual swear words over a picture of your child is just a massive red flag.

Call anyone and everyone who can help you because I fully believe your suspicions will probably be confirmed by what you've detailed, have you ever asked the family he stayed with what their side of the story was?