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Ethical dilemmas

Being totally excluded from late parents will information

5 replies

BobbyG56 · 20/04/2018 10:02

Earlier this year both my elderly parents died one month after one another.
Without writing pages of explanation, it is simpler to say my parents were very dysfunctional, especially my Mother who was pretty narcissistic and vindictive all her life.

Anyhow, there are no uncles, aunts , cousins etc both parents were only children. My only direct family relative is a younger sister who is married with one son. She was the golden child and has always made it her life’s work to exclude me and my family from anything to do with my parents. This of course suited my mother very well and so all my life there has been this weary and frankly hurtful situation of me trying to fit in when allowed and being openly snubbed or sniped at.

Stupidly or misguidedly? I continued contact , to visit/assist etc etc as my parents got older and more needy. I sorted out care, extra benefits etc., while my sister seemingly remained incapable or disinterested in trying to do anything practical. I lived some distance so travelled over 100 miles a week. She lives 12miles
She never had any contact with me nor still. She refuses to speak or acknowledge my existence to hospitals, GP, services etc. She and her husband behaved appallingly to me during my parents life , during their death and afterwards.
Both are the executors of my late parents will. My mother died after my father, so I would guess my sister and she would have enough time to alter the will to finally cut me out, but I don’t know. Absolutely everything has been withheld from me. Like I never existed at all apart from an odd open postcard Informing our house ( she never even put my name on the address ) to collect some personal possessions that are in boxes in the garage of my parents house ( except she does say our parents, just their Christian names ) weird. I think she too is not that mentally stable.
I am feeling very upset and angry. Am I just being too sensitive ?

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OP posts:
AuntFidgetWonkhamStrongNajork · 20/04/2018 11:13

You can get a copy of the will once it's on the government probate site - no one would know.

What is it you want to be involved with?

wormery · 26/04/2018 16:31

That sounds upsetting, what is it you would like to achieve, did you want to contest the Will, do you want to have a relationship with your sister.

Pitapotamus · 26/04/2018 16:35

Wills are public documents after the person has died and a grant of probate sought so it will be possible to order a copy of it online. Did you want to see it and your father’s will to check you have actually been cut out rather than just guessing?

Lisette40 · 26/04/2018 16:45

I'm so sorry to hear this OP. My condolences on your loss. I'm likely to be in a similar situation and it's really hurtful.

Schroedingerscatagain · 29/04/2018 15:04

We’ve had similar recently, go to the probate site online and it will even alert you to when probate has been granted

£10 and you can access a copy of the will online in total privacy

Take care, families can be horrible Flowers

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