Maybe I'm just being horrible? My brother who will be 42 in November had a psychotic episode last year. Attempted suicide, serious self harm. He was married to a total psychopath a girl who made no attempt to do anything with her life. He always worked hard, but married her and lost his job ( he was a carer - the guy he looked after died. Nothing suspicious but my brother was understandably very upset and refused to look after anyone else). The said wife would appear with bruises and say my brother had hit her. We (my parents and my husband) would always say how unacceptable domestic violence was and perhaps ostracise my brother for a bit. They split up, then got back together when she announced she was pregnant. We've no idea if the baby is his, as she'll say he is, then he isn't the dad. My brother is too afraid to find out as he does love the little boy. To cut a long story short, this car crash of a marriage continued with my brother appearing more and more unkempt and depressed. We didn't see much of him despite him living close. Then she threw him out. And the self harm and suicide attempts started. My Mam and Dad were terrified and he became totally psychotic, hearing voices etc. With a lot of begging he was eventually admitted to a psychiatric hospital where he continued attempting suicide and ended up sectioned. It then transpired SHE was the perpetrator of the domestic violence and it was self inflicted injuries she had. My brother was too ashamed to tell us it was her. But what was worse, he became totally addicted to codeine, subutex and heroin which she was supplying. In hospital he was more or less detoxed and although the abuse and drug use was reported to the police there wasn't enough evidence to prosecute and he didn't want to anyway. Now, a year down the line my Mam and Dad do EVERYTHING for him. Cook, clean (they rented and furnished a flat for him and put themselves into serious debt doing so) give him money, make appointments etc as they're terrified he'll become ill again or will self harm again. He's totally ungrateful for all of this and expects and embraces the 'sick role' . I say they need to back off, make him do things for himself, get their lives back, but I'm apparently being horrible when I do. My Mam infers she would choose him over me if I pushed the situation because of his 'illness' and that's breaking my heart. So tell me AIBU?