Do I say anything?

[Justalilcrazy]

So..I have this SIL..well she's my brother gf but can be SIL for the purpose of this post.

She nice (enough) and we get on well but her parenting 🙈 I really have to bite my tonge sometimes but I'm wondering if I should say something...

She is a first time mum and we all make mistakes - I know I did! Her DS is 8 months but acts more like 6.

The most recent example of tounge biting is her telling me that after her DS had a whole jar of baby food he needed 9oz of milk "to wash it down" - no water in sight.
Now I'm not a prude and I never tend to follow baby books but milk is a food for a baby - is it not?

Her boy is gorgeous, smiley and happy but still acts like a baby, he is only ever in his car seat or layed on the floor...no interaction with his mother, no teaching him to sit up etc...

I like to let people do things their own way, I know I did with my DDs but at the same time I feel like I should try and say something, guide her along the "correct" path.. Do I????

Er - he's 8 months... he is a baby!

I think "telling" her how to parent is never going to end well, whatever your relationship, but, depending on how much time you spend together, you can "model" lots of things, and do things with him yourself.

Or, don't you chat with your brother about his son / your nephew, and things you do ?

Is this a joke?

You literally have no ethical dilemma. None. Seriously, leave this poor woman alone. Don't even visit her, you're not helpful to her.

What age is your child? You do know that milk is the main source of calories for babies right up until 1 year old, right? Any food they have is just bonus calories and isn't supposed to replace their milk feeds.

You don't think the baby should have milk?

The only thing you can do I think is play with him in the way you feel is appropriate whilst you're with them, sit him up etc and show her what he and she could be doing.

Unless a mum asks for advice there's a one in a billion chance she'd appreciate it!

He's 8 months old and acts 6? Maybe because babies do grow up and make their milestones at different ages and there is a pretty wide variation in what is considered to be normal?

Give it a couple of years and no-one will be able to accurately guess that he sat up and was fully weaned a few weeks later than the child next to him.

Blimey, I'm the least maternal person out there and I know this much at least.

Don't think ds had water at all until over a year. Always milk.

and rum

8 months old is a baby.

You can't "teach" them to sit up, they do it when their back muscles and coordination skills have developed to the right extent and they all do it at different times.

My DS didn't sit up in his own until 9 months but was walking six weeks later. Several of my friends kids who could sit earlier didn't walk until 18 months.

It has made absolutely no difference to any of their mental or physical development in the intervening years.

I agree with other posters you have no ethical dilemma.

Do you interact with the baby when you visit?

How you do you know she doesn't interact with him? Do you live with them?
What sort of father is your brother? What does he feed the baby?

I think you should leave her alone, as your parenting assumptions sound plain wrong.

You like to "let" people do things their own way?
Don't think it's really your call is it. She'll do things her way because it's her child, not because you "let her."

I have never heard of anyone trying to teach a baby to sit up! To say a eight month old baby behaves like a six month old baby is madness.

As an aside, my 13 year old loves milk.

Please please don't put the poor woman (however young she is) and her baby down. Babies and children grow up soon enough what is the rush? As an older mum I really enjoyed my first DC feeling each stage was over too quickly as it was. A friend in my first time mum group was forever rushing and pushing to hurry her daughter onto the next stage and she tried to encourage me to do the same with my DS. My DS was very contented loved his food and milk and was never in a hurry to walk. Whereas she had her DD walking at 10 months and started trying to potty train her just after she was one etc. I didn't hurry DS as I didn't want to rush through his babyhood. He didn't walk until he was 14 months friend said it was because I anticipated his every need so he had no need to move/walk. We are all different and so are our babies. Please for the sake of your brother and yours and her sanity please leave well alone.

Arf at you thinking it's an ethical dilemma. It's a 'Shall I stick my beak in?' dilemma and the answer is almost always 'No' to this question.

That are supposed to have milk?

I don't know what the dilemma is, she is doing things differently than you, there is no choice to make.

I hope you can overlook your differences and learn to like her in the future. Good luck.

This is quite a difficult post and i apologise but i need advice and support. My child's father has suffered from mental helath problems and alcohol issues since i habe known him. We split up 18 months ago. He said some very bizarre and concerning things when i was pregnant. He asked me if I was eating properly as bad nutrition causes paedophilia. I thought it was such a weird thing to say and he said he heard it on the radio. Then when i was 8.5 months pregnant he was drunk and had tears in his eyes and said 'what if i am a paedophile' i was horrified and didnt even want to acknowledge it so pushed it to the back of my mind. When our daughter was 2 months old he sent me an email with a photograph of her covered in sexual swead words. He told me to delete it as it was an accident and i was absolutely horrified. He said it was an error and a caption he had put on a friend's photo had copied over. He is extremely convincing so again i just put it to the back of my mind. However, a few months later he went to visit some old friends and stayed with them. They accused him of trying to get in to their sons room in the middle of the night. I only know this as when he came back he was acting so strangely and his behaviour was concerning. He told me in the middle of fhe night whilst drunk over whatsapp. As the weeks went on my heart began to sink as i started to put the other things that had occured into context. I got in touch with his friends to ask what happened and they were so alarmed at his behaviour that they reported it to the police and to social servives. However, neither the police nor social sevices followed up wotj me which u find bizarre. I eventually stopped contact as i am unable to manage the situaiton. His family are very angry with me and arw saying i am spiteful and vindictive. I have been to court and filed a child arrangements order and a non molestation order to ensure my daughter and myself are safe. I have moved so they dont know where we live. This has been the most incredibly difficult cult thing I have ever had to manage and i suppose i want to know would other people do what i have done. Has anyone had experience of anything like this or know anyone who i could turn to for support or advice. Thanks

Need some advice. A friend of mine had issues with a mum. They had a huge falling out for a while and things got pretty bad. Their kids had to be apart and so did they. I was friends with both but in that time I was asked if I had called social services on one of the mums. Of course I hadn’t but i then found out it was the other mum that had done it. They are now friends again and her child is spending lots of time with her. My concern is if things go south again I’m worried this will repeat. Do I tell my friend or not? I’m worried I’m gunna be called up for causing trouble. What would you do?