AIBU?

[SugarfreeBee]

My Father-in-law is in hospital terminally Ill, so we may be being a little over sensitive-however- his son lives away & 'couldn't afford' to come up to see his Dad, so my FIL paid for their travel, it took him 21/2 weeks to come despite the fact we had been told he had days to live! They are staying in my FIL's house & we bought food for them to stay - only now my SIL has had to go & spend another £100 as they weren't happy with the food & had eaten most of it in 4 days!!! And he still hasn't visited his Dad!!
AIBU?
If I went to stay in someone's house that was in hospital I wouldn't expect them to provide food for me! I certainly wouldn't demand more food! I'm fuming/disgusted!
It's really hard trying to hold everything together & not upset my FIL further in his last days.
BTW they do have money it's an act they play!

Very sorry to hear about your father in law.

I think you're worrying about completely the wrong thing here to be honest. Let them suit themselves and concentrate on supporting your father in law and your husband at this difficult time.

I'm just struggling with their selfish behaviour & that they expect my FIL to spend what little money he has on their whim's in the hope they may visit him!
It breaks my heart. They only ever want him when they need money & in his last days he shouldn't be having to deal with it!

None of you should be having to deal with it OP, it must be really hard watching fil being treated like that. I don't blame you for being angry but you must be emotionally exhausted as it is so it worries me that being angry at the son will only add to that. Could you maybe use this thread for support and to have a rant and then try to switch off from it the rest of the time? Purely in the interests of your sanity!

As for the son I think all you can do is protect fil as best you can, being there for him, giving him comfort and as much peace as possible in the circumstances has to be the priority now. I wouldn't be doing anymore running around after them or relaying demands for money to fil, you've done enough and it's down to the son now whether he visits.

All you can do is be there for fil, keep things as calm and drama free as you can for him and leave the son to make his own decisions. You have enough on your plate just getting through fil's illness so look after the people who matter (including yourself) and let everyone else sort themselves out

Thank you, for understanding!
I needed to get it out of my system! And I needed to do it away from people who know us.
My hubby is barely hanging on, we are really close to his Dad, we lost his Mum really suddenly 3 years ago, we used to do everything together. Since she died FIL stays with us probably 1 week a month although he only lives 3 miles away.
We have young children who are really struggling so I need to be focused on them, hubby & FIL - not feeling so upset over BIL!

It isn't really appropriate for you to say anything because your bil is his son and you are not as closely related

Their behaviour is... shit.

However, at this time just hold your DH's hand and help him through. This can be argued out afterwards, time is of the essence.

My best wishes to your family