Is it my place to tell her?

[Rainbowsockstoday]

This morning on my way from picking up my DH and dropping him off at work I saw a woman I know walking along holding hands with a dangerous man. She's not a friend exactly but I met her a few times at baby groups a couple of years ago and she has a son that I teach as well.

The man in question is on the sex offender register and has been in prison for physical and sexual assault. He has a restraining order and curfew because he's got a tag. I called his parol office and asked if I needed to tell them as this woman has children and I didn't know if it was a protection issue. He's probably not told her who he is. They said it was her judgement and they can't control who he sees as it's not their job.

I could probably find this woman online or at worst use the contact details we have at work for her. But is it my place to tell her? If it was me in her situation I would want to know but maybe she already does know and doesn't mind. Maybe he's changed. I just know she has young kids and they don't want to get caught up in anything if he's still as horrid as he was before prison.

It depends how you know that information. Do tou have the right to pass it on.

I'd want to know.

Is there a way you can legitimately raise it as a safeguarding issue in respect of her children, as you teach one of them? The police liaison person for your school might be more use than the parole office by the sounds of it.

But follow protocol.

@lemon I was the one who saw them together this morning as I was driving past. His parol officer wasn't interested at all when I rang him.

I'd want to know personally

@lineysrun that's a great idea. I might ring out child protection officer at work and see what she says. If she could raise it a CP issue then it's not me who is getting involved. I really don't want to get involved but as a parent I wouldn't want my kids near him. Luckily his RO means he can't go near our school.

Don't use contact details from where you work. They were not given to you for this purpose and it's a breach of the Data Protection Act. By all means track her down on Facebook, but don't jeopardise your job.

I would want to know.

OP I think Lemon meant how do you know the information about the man you saw? If you know it somehow through work, or you were told by someone else who knows it through their work, you may not be legally able to share it. If it is common knowledge, in the press for example, that is different.

But what to do...I think I would do as LineysRun suggests and contact the police liaison for your school. Take their advice.

I am really surorised at the parol officer to be honest.

I know about a woman who has 3 girls. She got a new boyfriend, he is on the sex offenders register. She had a visit from SS and the upshot was, leave him or loose your kids.
All 3 girls now live full time with their Dad and she is still with the boyfriend

So I think that the authorities would be interested.

Report it through your school if you teach at a school. If that is not possible, report to SS. I wonder if the parol officer hadn't thought about her kids, was just thinking about her.

I know he's dangerous and on the sex offender list because I was the one he attacked. He decided one night to give me a broken nose, fractured skull, crushed hand and over 130 belt marks after threatening me and ripping all my clothes before sexually assaulting me. That's how I have his parole officer number and how he has a RO preventing him coming near my workplace (also as it's a school he can't anyway). It WAS in the local paper too but that was three years ago.

Echo what steppemum said.
Go through this as a child protection issue.

OP that's terrible!

Can you go to the parole officer's supervisor?

Aww rainbow your so brave! Id want to know but id whistle blow to ss. With him being on the sex offenders register they will investigate

So sorry you went through that.

I'd send an anonymous e-mail to the woman telling her everything, make sure you protect yourself too.

Please tell the woman concerned. Do not hesitate at all. Definitely speak to the protection officer as someone said.

I'd tell her.

I'd hope the po was being 'non disclosing' rather than not interested.

I think that I'd go through official channels rather than approach her & risk her telling him tbh.

I think you have a moral duty to tell her.
Could you find out where she lives and pop a printout of the newspaper article about his conviction through her letterbox.
Or get a friend to email her so it can't be traced to you?

I'm so sorry to hear what you've been through. If the safeguarding route doesn't work I would personally be tempted to print out any evidence of his conviction e.g. newspaper reports and ask a third party such as a friend to hand her an envelope containing them at school pickup and leave it to her to make the decision. That way you're not breaking any rules to get her contact details and only giving publicly available information. Also it is safer for her to receive the information in a public place whereas if you email or call her he could be there at the time and it could send him in to a rage putting her and her children at risk.

If it was in the papers, print off a copy and post it to her anonymously.

if he has a tag she is likely to know. Perhaps he has told her lots of lies? She does need to know what you told us above. How horrible for you for the situation to be owned up again. Could you speak to your Head? Say it is a potential conflict as you teach her child?

Whether it's right or wrong to let her know. I would definitely want to know . If she does then it does no harm. If she doesn't know then you could be saving her a shit load of trouble

I hate to say it but I think if you approach her personally you'll be labeled the 'crazy ex'.
You don't know what he has told her in respect to the tag and you can't underestimate some people's ability to twist the truth to suit themselves. (Not to mention the 'rescuers' he's different, he'd never do that to me. . . . . )

I'd go the CP route first

And then the copy of the report from the papers, but via a third party.

Yes what agent says, if you tell her she's likely not to believe you. If you go down the CP route with your legitimate concerns, it protects her children if she choses to ignore you and put you in the crazy box.
is there a potential teaching her child is putting you in danger?