This is such a difficult topic to talk about, I understand that it's entirely my fault that I'm in this situation but I'm hoping I could get some advice.
Its been over a year since I fell pregnant. I remember feeling so scared about everything. When I told my partner he was great for the most part. No one - including him - let him have much input on my decision and while he said he would support me with anything I just wanted to know what he wanted. I realise now that I was hoping for him to tell me that we should keep the baby and that we would figure everything out and everything would be great.
I weighed the pros and cons, but I was 18 and going to uni and had no way of supporting a family. He was also in no position to support a family and we had only been together for a couple months. From the moment I decided to terminate the pregnancy I regretted it.
We're so close now, I can talk to him about anything except this. We've talked about having a family but I know that he wants to wait until were in a good position, as things haven't changed much since then. But I've felt depressed and numb for over a year, my baby is all I can ever think about. What I really want is to have him/her in my arms right now.
I know its selfish, but I feel that I have been brooding so much and all I want is to have a family. I know if I talk to him about it he'll talk all logical and it will break my heart.
I just don't know what to do. I feel so trapped in my own head about it and its lonely.