Should I tell her?

[halfwildlingwoman]

I am really concerned about this. I have obviously changed some details. I work with children so know certain confidential details. A teenager I work with, X, is considered at risk because their parent lives with someone on the sex offenders register. I don't know the nature of the offences, just that X is on the at risk list.
X has been used as a babysitter by a good friend of mine - Y, who has 2 small DC. I feel that I should morally let Y know that X may not be a suitable choice to protect their DC but there are several barriers to this.

1. X may of course not be any kind of danger to other DC and I could be slandering a vulnerable child.
2. I would be breaking confidentiality and putting my job at risk.
3. Y knows the family, lives next door and may already be completely appraised of the situation and have done their own risk assessment (so to speak)

DH thinks of course I should tell Y, but emphasise that Y can't acknowledge how they know. I feel that the only way I could do it is to ask Y not to use X again but not explain further, although that seems just like spreading gossip and rumour. I couldn't live with myself if harm came to more DC due to this horrible situation.
Currently I am sitting tight and I am going to talk to the Child Protection Officer at work next week. I suppose I am curious to other people's opinions, particularly if you have this awkward work/friends crossover before. Thank you.

Does x have a social worker? You could tell ss about the babysitting and leave it up to them ?

Absolutely DO NOT tell her!! You would be breaking DP laws and you have no idea why this man is on the SOR. If X was in any danger he would not be allowed to live with them and why, if he's on the register would that make X an unsuitable person to babysit if you don't know the details? (Peeing in the street drunk has been known to have someone done for indecent exposure) that is detrimental to this child, dropped like a hot stone because of somone else's crime, she should not be punished for what someone else has done. Could you imagine what that would do to a child's self esteem?!? The correct course of action would be to inform the child's social worker if you have any concerns and allow them to deal with it, or the SO registration officer of the guy (assuming it is a man of course). Telling your friend would get you into serious trouble x

Where does the babysitting take place? Is it likely that the schedule 1 offender will be there? Should x not be able to babysit because of him?

It's very tricky, I agree, but If you have genuine concerns you should tell Y in my opinion. Best interests of the child trumps everything.

Yes, I think SS is the way to go. Thinking about it, that is prob what the CP officer will do when I tell them. I think I should do what I would do if I heard this at work - if X told me they were now working with small children, I would follow procedure with any safe-guarding issue and let the CP officer deal with it.
Technically I have broken rules by telling my DH I think, although I have not used names.
Thank you everyone. This bit doesn't fit our CP policy as the DC of my friend aren't DC I work with.

Really Bad, I don't agree, the best interests of which child? Because it certainly won't be in the interests of the kid who is baby sitting.

ReallyBadParty - my instinct is to tell Y, for that reason. However, I would not expect a friend to tell me and risk their job. I don't think that I would ever be in this position as the only babysitter I use outside of immediate family is a DBS checked childcare professional.

And I have just realised, despite my careful hiding of gender throughout the entire post, I did reveal the gender of my friend in the thread title. Really I'm an idiot! I am going to ask for this thread to be removed in an hour or so, but thank all for you very much, you have helped me make a really tricky decision.

The best interests of the child(ren) potentially at risk.

So many of the terrible cases have come about because of a lack of information sharing and concern about data protection, and who's job it is to put their head above the parapet.

I am not saying it's a no brainer, but I myself would rather risk trouble for myself than risk a child being abused because I didn't want to say anything, I would, of course, reflect carefully on the full circumstances, and the reasons for x being at risk, but that's my view.

I would consider the full circumstances of the offender and X; it's clearly unfair if she can't babysit because of the man her mother is shacked up with, but the potential risk to another child surely must be considered too?

Oops, before it goes, I wouldn't expect someone to tell me, but I would do it if I thought it was the right thing to do and take the consequences.

I know I sound like a righteous cow, but I have put my money where my mouth is, though nothing came of it.

I wouldn't under any circs say that a child who is a house with an RSO is necessarily a risk to any other child! Really bad, I'm afraid I think that's really bad of you to say that!! X

20 years in law enforcement and 4 of them in CP doesn't make me an expert, just means I've seen this lots of times x

I am not saying that. I specifically raised that in my first answer.

Of course the child is not her/himself a risk, but the close relationship and the neighbour thing could be a risk. One might think it was ok to get a child to babysit if the parents were next door in case anything happened, for example.

But my point is not even that, it is that if the op considers that there is a potential risk to a child, with all the information she has, then she should act. If she is not so satisfied, then she shouldn't.

No blame or aspersions at all are cast on X, who is blameless in all of this.

Ok, I may have missed that clarification however I still say that's information the OP should not be passing on. It's detrimental to ALL involved. If there are concerns SW should be made aware. If significant risk inform police immediately x

Ok! We can probably agree it's a pretty shite situation to be in, and hope it works out for the op and children involved.

Ok, I may have missed that clarification however I still say that's information the OP should not be passing on. It's detrimental to ALL involved. If there are concerns SW should be made aware. If significant risk inform police immediately x

Oops! Fat fudgy fingers!! Yes I totally agree! Shit for all involved x

Why is X a danger to children because one of the adults they live with is on the SOR?

This kind of thing does come up in small communities, sadly.

I don't understand......surely any possible danger is from the offender? Why would 'X' be a danger? Are abused children more likely to abuse others? There is nothing to say X has been abused by the offender is there?

No one is saying X would abuse a child. X themself is a child and should be protected.

The potential risk is from the proximity of the sex offender.

For example, your dd is fifteen and asked to babysit the children next door. A problem arises and she perfectly properly asks you/your partner to help, so you pop next door to do so.

This may or may not be a risk depending on the particular circumstances of the case. The response to it depends on a proper consideration of all the facts and circumstances.

In no way is it being suggested that x is to blame for someone else's actions.

To clarify, I am in no way saying X would abuse a child. The risk, as Really says is from the proximity of the sex offender.

My but feeling is then you should tell social workers or police, and let them risk assess. Sticky beak out otherwise, i think. Do people on SOR have parole officers?

oops, but = should be gut (could be speaking out my arse, I suppose)

But surely if he was that much of a risk, SS wouldn't allow the child X to live there with him?

Could being on the register be something as a 16 yr old boy having sex with a 15 yr old girl.....in theory? Does the OP actually know why he is on the register?
I'm not trying to play down why he is on the register btw.
But yes, asking SS would be good I guess.