Oh no! Christmas and my Muslim neighbours.

[fakenamefornow]

Shit shit shit.

I sent my neighbours a little Christmas food package a few days ago. It had some mince pies, jam and chutney, all home made by me. They're coming round tonight, with some other friends for a few Christmas drinks and little bit of food. Now I'm normally very careful and if they come round always point out any pork or non halal food so that they can avoid if they want.

Problem is, while I was thinking about this and working out what they can and can't eat I realised that the mince pies have lard in the pasty and suet in the mince. I was planning to serve them tonight (I've made loads!) Should I tell them what I've done? They also have some relatives staying with them that are coming with them. I knew they had relatives staying and so sent enough mince pies for everyone.

What should I do? Please be gentle with me, I know it was a stupid mistake but no malice was intended.

I've been thinking about, maybe just don't say a thing after all. It's a mistake and what good will it do to tell them? I'm thinking back to my veggie days (which is very different to a religious restriction, I know) and if I was really bothered then I'd ask if something had animal fat.

Alcohol would burn off in the cooking though, besides, they drink alcohol, as I said, they have relatives staying though, not sure how strick they are.

However strict their relatives are nobody is held accountable for unknowingly eating pork products. Even very strict interpretations are clear on that. It was an honest mistake, no one is at fault. I suspect if you told them their faces would just be like this ->

There really is no point. Quit stressing and have some fun!

I mean they would make a face because they would wonder why you were bothering to tell them.

Don't tell them. Nothing good can come from telling them.

Don't mention the first batch but tell them that the new batch isn't suitable.

If you tell them about the first batch you may put them in an awkward position: either get upset and seem ungrateful to you, or shrug it off and seem lax about their religion.

They should have checked. If they're strict they would do.

So say nothing.

Tell them the truth. As sad as it is that they won't trust your food again, they have no choice you forgot once you may make the same mistake again. I am sure they still like you, and they will respect you more for telling the truth.

I didn't tell them, i was planning to but I chickened out. I didn't serve the rest of them either. So annoyed with myself, I'd spent a whole afternoon making loads of them for Christmas, we're never going to eat that many ourselves so most will end up in the bin.

They came with their relatives who were visiting from Germany. As I said all along I was more worried about the relatives eating them because I knew our neighbours weren't very strict, im pretty sure they avoid pork though. The relatives were a family of four, with two teenage children. Mum and dad didn't speak English and the children only spoke a bit . I know I will be flamed for judging on appearance but dad had a long beard so I did think oh no, what have I done, feeding him pork.

The German family were lovely and brought lots of chocolate for my children for Christmas. They thanked me for the mince pies and said they'd never had them before and how nice they were. Our neighbours acted as interpreters.

Feeling very ashamed.

Really don't worry. There is no need to feel ashamed. You did a lovely thing for them in good faith.

Maybe next year you could do all your mince pies pork and alcohol free if you are planning to give them to your neighbours. I made a few batches this year using felicity cloake's recipe (minus the whisky) and they were delicious. Everyone here really enjoyed them. She uses butter instead of suet in the mincemeat.

You did exactly the right thing. There's nothing they could have done about it if thy knew, but it may have made them feel bad or embarrassed them in front of the relatives. It's a shame some more mince pies went to waste, but you couldn't in good conscience serve them more!

I'm vegetarian and am of the mibd that if someone accidentally gives me meat/meat products, or I accidentally eat something, then i'd rather not know at all, because there's nothing I can do about it.

You did not do it deliberately!
Please don't feel guilty.
It is fine

I agree with next year using veg suet and vegetarian.pastry to make your mince pies (or buy them - the vast majority of shop bought mince pies are vegetarian)
(I know I'm using vegetarian as the word, but it's pork in suet and lard, and they're the only meat products used so effectively it's vegetarian that's the issue)

Yes I know I did the right thing not telling them, I'm still feeling bad about sending them forbidden food but as somebody said upthread, it would do no good to tell them.

Most shop bought mince meat has vegetarian suet in it so that might have been ok. I always thought lard was beef ?

Ooh I stand corrected - just googled it and it's pork, see learn something new everyday.