do i stay in my damp cold expensive house or lie through my teeth so my kids can have a nice home??

[bellarose2011]

just looking for some advice really, i am a single mother to 2 DD, 10 months and 2yrs.
we currently live in a 3 bed semi detatched house, it has an old back boiler which makes the gas bills huge yet we are still always freezing. the garden is a vertical hill (literally!) there is mold growing on the kids bedroom wall. the double glazing doesn't work and there is puddles of water on all the windowsills every morning. i hate it!!
in the area i live there is a shortage of social housing and my name is on all council/housing association lists. my only hope is a house from an estate agents. but of course they won't accept DSS.
now i get my housing benefit paid to me so there is no reason i need to disclose this other than it being dishonest. but i know i would be a great tenant, i have never not paid my rent, i'm a clean freak and have no pets.
i have found a perfect house that i can afford and have the application form in front of me, i know i won't get it if i tell the truth. i have a friend who runs her own business and would say i worked for her. i just don't know what to do??
the eatate agents use MARAS, will my bank tell them where my funds come from?

Your landlord doesnt need to know where the rent comes from as long as he gets paid.
A lot of people do it this way as its sometimes the only option & there is no way your landlord can find out as without your permission nobody can tell him (as in housing etc)

He does need to know as it may be breaking the terms of his mortgage.

Here is a novel idea:

How about actually actively seeking work instead of pretending to work to rent privately, lie, and be on benefits too?

If you live rural, without a job, and with little choice in houses on the rental market, why not move? It is not like you have a job that keeps you there?

Yes. Move, get a job, whatever you need to do.

quint is right.

Why don't you? Oh sorry because you don't want to "dump your baby in childcare if you don't have to.

Well, you either have to, or carry on living where you are now.

The answer to your problem is not lying.

It always amazes me how many people think the world/government owes them something. A home, free money every month. Because THEY dont want to use childcare, THEY dont want to work. Rather lie and deceive instead of taking responsibility.

How nice it would be to spend my days sitting around being a mum and keep house, go for coffee, living somewhere nice and rural, while all sorts of benefits were just transferred into my account. Because "I dont want to work. I dont think it is right for MY child to be in nursery". etc.

Grown adults who wants the government to baby them. Pah!

quint exactly.

I wasnt exactly over the moon about using full time childcare with my first dc but we couldn't afford to live on one salary.

When DH and I were made redundant we struggled like mad, we worked 5 jobs between us to get back on our feet.
We lived in a house we didn't really like because it took housing benefit.
It's that simple.

I agree with you too quint. Not just grown adults but parents, who should be gaining some maturity and responsibility when they become parents.

The OP shouldn't have the problems in the property she's in - they need sorting out. There are options, sorting the problems out with the landlord, seeking redress through the local authority, CAB, moving to a new area, finding work. Or lying and disadvantaging someone else.

Think about it OP, just look at the choices you are making for your family.

The benefits system is there to help if you are in need. If you honestly think there's no other option for you, you have to accept that and live according to that.

If that means chasing up your landlord or whatever to make the house nice, do it.
If it means moving to an area that does accept HB, do that.

You aren't in a unique situation.

The welfare state was never meant to be a life style choice, but a stop gap measure to help people who had fallen on hard times, not to keep them in that position.

The problem is that you choose to live like this OP.
you make the choice not to go to work, because it is a choice right now.
And then complain that you can't get a nice house.
And use that as a justification to lie, and possibly invalidate your LL insurance.
Surely you can see that's not right.

If you want a better life, I'm afraid you'll have to do what the rest of us do, go and work for it.
You can't expect anything else.

Do your children enjoy having damp cold rooms and sleep breathing the spores of mold?

"there is mold growing on the kids bedroom wall."

This is the life choice you have chosen for your children.

I suggest you educate yourself.
Mould in the home fact sheet

your babys environment - mold

Health effects of mold in the house

Blimey, when I first joined this thread I thought I was being a bit harsh and said so, however it is becoming clear that the OP has a sense of entitlement.
Have a 3 bed house, dont work, but also expect a house (not a flat a HOUSE) in a nice area, that is easy to keep!

Dont we all want this. The problem is she wants US to pay for it due to her lifestyle choices!

If there aren't many houses available in the area, though, chances are someone will apply who doesn't need HB at all.

i was wondering how long it would take for the benefit bashers to start.the insurance is not an issue as im am saying i get HB.
and it's funny how you say im looking for a 'house in a nice area' can you show me where i have said that?

you know nothing about my life or my situation.
i didn't choose a 'lifestyle'
i had 2 kids with a man i loved and had been with for 6yrs. we had both worked full time most of our lives.
after having kids he turned into an alcoholic violent bully.
i left with a newborn and toddler, and yes i decided i wanted to stay at home with them for a while. big deal, you all really need to get out more into the real world.
there seems to be a playground bully mentality on MN and its pathetic.

i suppose if i had been born with a silver spoon in my mouth i would never have to tell a lie, but in the real world you do.

sorry to disapoint ladies but you won't intimidate or upset me!!

and yes mold grows on the wall but i scrub it off with bleach so there are no spores

You are right we dont know anything about your life, however YOU have made choices. You want to stay at home with them, you want a nice house, you dont want to work, you dont want to move away from the area.

Well, I am sorry but some of those things will have to be given up if you want the lifestyle you crave. Most of us work to achieve those things children or not. And no many of us were not born with a silver spoon, we worked damm hard, made choices and took responsibility for them.

And I feel it is you that are in the dream world. Thinking that the world owes you a living, that you are entitled to things that others just dream about. So, go on tells lies, pretend you are working to get your house at our cost but I suspect it will all come crashing down.

The OPs baby is 10months old, she is entitled to stay at home till said baby is 5 without having to look for work. She's not doing anything wrong and if you don't like the law become a politician and change it.

OP if you lie and end up being kicked out how will you feel knowing because you lied your dc don't have a home. It is morally wrong to lie and you won't get away with it like a cv. If your going to stay on ISA for a while then find a 2bed flat that accepts dss as once the universal credits come in you will be even more poor paying an 14% spare bedroom allowence.

i don't really see it as a choice, how could you possibly get up every day and leave a baby with strangers? its not an option to me.
after 1 i would but a baby needs her mum.
i always planned to stay at home with my kids i just didn't plan to be a single mum.
and the house i want is half the size of the one im in now, it is nothing special. it is not in a nice area.
im not looking to upgrade, im trying to downgrade. its tiny so the bills will be cheap, is that really out of order to want that?

I'm sorry you were in a bad relationship. I'm very glad you got out.
but when you say that you decided to stay at home with them for a while, you made that decision knowing you would be reliant on benefits.
And you choose to stay on benefits.

So, now you want a better life. So you are going to have to decide if you are going to do what most of us do, go to work, get off the benefit system and make a better life, or continue as you are.
If you choose to continue as you are, then you cannot possibly complain about your lifestyle because you chose it.

Don't you think there are a lot of parents who want to stay at home for a while? Who have been in bad relationships?

It's all about choice. Your choice is to stay at home and receive benefits. So live like that but don't complain you can't get a better house and lie.

Op if there was no benefit system you would have to "leave your baby with strangers" wouldn't you?

Yes, you are entitled not to l

'The OPs baby is 10months old, she is entitled to stay at home till said baby is 5 without having to look for work. She's not doing anything wrong and if you don't like the law become a politician and change it.'

I agree, InNeed. Lying to get the nice house and all that, if it comes to pass, and again it probably won't because in most situations like this, someone else trots up who doesn't need HB at all and the landlord will chose them, isn't on because by law, the landlord can serve that tenant notice.

bella, comments like 'dumping my child with strangers' really aren't going to endear you to the working poor, many of whom had to put their children in childcare to pay for themselves and their children in life. Because I know several of those who posted on here personally, and none of them were born with silver spoons in their mouths. In fact, one was completely fucked over by a tenant who lied.

You seem defensive and pissed off with people who point out that doing this can get you evicted, even though it can.

But if I were that person who really was working and relying on partial HB and telling the truth on my application, and found out you lied and got that house over me, I wouldn't hesitate to grass you up in a second. And don't think that, in a rural community, that won't happen.

OP if it's because of leaving your baby why don't you try and find work in a nursery, you usually get a set hours of free childcare and your dc would be about.

Can your mum not help?

I have had a few periods of being on income support with 2 young children, for me personally I like working so I acn take my dc on holiday and have money for extras but I realise I was lucky to have a nan who covered my child care.

To be honest you are insulting all the working mothers who go out to provide for their children. And it is your choice to not work. Life has a habit of throwing us curve balls, you planned to stay at home, your partner was not what you were expecting. Surely you cannot expect others to fund your choices. You chose to have two children with this man. That is surely not for others to comment on or fund.

'i don't really see it as a choice, how could you possibly get up every day and leave a baby with strangers? its not an option to me.'

You don't see it as a choice? Well, bella, that's why working poor like us are getting hammered by this government as entitled scroungers. Thanks!

How can I get up and leave my children with strangers? Because we wanted to live in a nice flat and the reality is that landlords with nice flats don't want to rent to people with young children who are sat home all day because it's more wear and tear on their property.

And now, because you don't see it as a choice, this government is going to make sure it isn't! For any of us, even the working ones.

i ma not pissed off about people saying i could get kicked out, i accept that.

and i am only stating that i couldn't leave MY baby. lots of my freinds and family went straight back to work after having babies and that is there choice.
i have personel reasons for not wanting to leave my baby with strangers.

i am pissed off that people are saying that i have chosen a 'lifestyle'