do i stay in my damp cold expensive house or lie through my teeth so my kids can have a nice home??

[bellarose2011]

just looking for some advice really, i am a single mother to 2 DD, 10 months and 2yrs.
we currently live in a 3 bed semi detatched house, it has an old back boiler which makes the gas bills huge yet we are still always freezing. the garden is a vertical hill (literally!) there is mold growing on the kids bedroom wall. the double glazing doesn't work and there is puddles of water on all the windowsills every morning. i hate it!!
in the area i live there is a shortage of social housing and my name is on all council/housing association lists. my only hope is a house from an estate agents. but of course they won't accept DSS.
now i get my housing benefit paid to me so there is no reason i need to disclose this other than it being dishonest. but i know i would be a great tenant, i have never not paid my rent, i'm a clean freak and have no pets.
i have found a perfect house that i can afford and have the application form in front of me, i know i won't get it if i tell the truth. i have a friend who runs her own business and would say i worked for her. i just don't know what to do??
the eatate agents use MARAS, will my bank tell them where my funds come from?

no my mum coverted her house and it is now huge and far to big and expensive for us.

" i personally think there is a good chance they wouldn't if they rent was paid and i had proved myself a good tenant. "

unless you know the LL personally you have no way of knowing this. you cant base such a massive decision like this on the hope that your LL will be 'nice'. alot of LL are business people and dont take kindly to being lied to. i think you are being very naive to think you will just be 'let off'.

yes they could get one taht doesn't but it they would loose rent, have to pay estate agent fees.
my mum has been a landlord for 20yrs and she would do anything to keep hold of a good tenant.

How about moving back in with her then, since you said you'd never be homeless and could move in with family. Then, you can try getting a real part-time job and be able to rent without having to lie.

framey it wouldn't be for being on housing benefit that they would evict her. it would be for lying.

the landlord showed me around, he was a nice young bloke who had bought the house when he lived there then moved when he had a family.
i am willing to take a risk on him being a decent enough human being to not kick a woman out with 2 kids over something so trivial.
and i would never expect any sympathy from anyone, this is my choice and i can cope with any outcome.

they're all nice when they want you to give them money!

i could move in with her if i was homeless, i can't move in with her because i fancy a bit of a break so i can look for a job.

one made buns for when i came to view a house last year! she wasn't making me any buns when i needed her to come round and fix the leaking toilet!

true, they are also generally nice when they know they can rely on you for money every month and to look after there house!!

'i could move in with her if i was homeless, i can't move in with her because i fancy a bit of a break so i can look for a job.'

Fancy a bit of a break to look for a job? Bella, you need to face facts here, being entirely reliant on benefits is going to very quickly become a thing of the past.

I don't understand how if you explained to her the situation your kids are living in and that you wanted to move back so you could better their lives and be able to rent a place without having to lie that she wouldn't be up for that?

nope, not true. they are just unbothered.

I don't own property, we rent ourselves, but if I did and found out my tenant lied on the app, I'd serve notice on them. Sorry, I would, kids and all. I'd be furious and honestly, if they lie on the app, no telling what else they're lying about.

I have always had nice landlords so maybe ive just been lucky.
if i asked my mum yes she would let me move in but it would be a strain on us all and she has her own life.
i have no intention of being reliant on benefits for long but i have a 10 month old and will not dump her in a nursery just for money.
i would rather take the risk of lying to this landlord than have my baby looked after by strangers. i have no family who could help with childcare as they work.

i can't believe so many poeple would be so outraged by this, have none of you ever lied in a job interview?

nope. i haven't.

can't believe how time flies when your on MN, got far to much housework to do now!!

seriously? you have never told i lie to get something that you want/need?

It's not a little white lie though. You're implicating your friend in this too, in a very calculated manner. To lie and say she's your boss, there could be repercussions for her too. Tell the truth. If the landlord says no then you'll know that you'd have been in trouble when he found out your lie anyway. If he says yes, then you've done the right thing.

'i have no intention of being reliant on benefits for long but i have a 10 month old and will not dump her in a nursery just for money.
i would rather take the risk of lying to this landlord than have my baby looked after by strangers. i have no family who could help with childcare as they work.'

This is why all of us are being penalised by benefits cuts and UC. This is why it will very very soon not be a choice, because there are some people who think they are above putting their child into nursery (dumping them with strangers for money) and so others should pay for them to sit at home and their own childcare fees, too. Thanks for that! Because of attitudes like this, every single one of us will be penalised.

Hey, go ahead and do it. When you get caught and thrown out, it's your lookout.

I am not outraged - just concerned that you might worsen your situation.

I understand the temptation to lie but honestly think for your peace of mind you should be above board in all your dealings with the benefits system.

bella people are just trying to let you know how much of a risk you are taking. it isn't so much outrage at the lying, it's the fact that lying puts you in such a vulnerable position and at the mercy of a LL who may or may not decide to put you out. which legally they can do.

if you accept that that is a very likely consequence then go ahead but go with your eyes open and be prepared throughout your time in the house for that to happen. you say you wnat to be able to make a home and cant where you live now, well how comfortable would you be able or willing to make your new home knowing that at any point you could be made to leave and possibly sell all your stuff if you have to move in with your mum or be housed in temporary accomodation by the council (think B&B)

"you have never told i lie to get something that you want/need? "

yes i was a child once you know

but seriously this isn't like lying about your child's age to get into the cinema for less. this is your home!

there is such a thing as wanting something too much bella. why is this house so important. is it the house or is it just the first one that's come up and you want out of your own ASAP?

the council here doesn't use bnb. they have a block of flats for mother and children. my friend had one once and it was fine for a short time.
im just thinking about it now and my current LL doesn't know i claim housing benefit, she never asked, i never told. don't know how she would feel about it.
so i am living in the same situation now i just didn't pretend to have a job to get this house. she probably didn't ask because its a shit hole!