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Ethical dilemmas

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Original poster

OH daughter pregnant is it too late for me?

18 replies

Lizzylou123 · 18/07/2011 20:46

Don't know if this is the right place for this but here goes. My OHs daughter has just announced her pregnancy. We have been trying for a child for quite a while now with no success. Whilst i am pleased for her does this mean it's wrong/inappropriate for us to continue to try for a baby? (I have no children currently and my OH is a bit older than me). He says the news shouldnt change things but I feel terrible about it all. Help,,,,

OP posts:

HoneyNorwegianRidgebackdragon · 18/07/2011 20:49

absolutely not

Close friends of ours were in this situation when her sd became pg. The nephew is 4 months older than the uncle.

Nothing wrong with crossing the generations.

tigana · 18/07/2011 20:52

If you and OH want to have a baby together, then his daughter's pregnancy doesn't negate that.

Why do you feel terrible about it? Is it just because she has 'beaten you to it' so to speak, or is it a generation-y thing that you feel a bit uncomfy about (eg having a son/daughter who is the same age as their nephew/niece) which is just the way things go "these days"...

SingingSands · 18/07/2011 20:52

Of course not. It's more common that you think. Carry on and hopefully, your children will become good friends.

Jacinda · 18/07/2011 21:07

Wow, that must be the height of British politeness.
Congratulate your OH daughter and get on with your life.

Northernlurker · 18/07/2011 21:10

Of course it doesn't change anything. Good luk ttc If you haven't fallen by the time the baby arrives then make sure you have lots of cuddles with the newborn then go home and shag dh. Cuddling newborns is supposed to help fertility - so say some african culture that I read about zillions of years ago - can't remember what.

GwendolineMaryLacey · 18/07/2011 21:13

Why would you feel terrible about it? Go for it, it doesn't affect your life (you know what I mean!)

AnyFucker · 18/07/2011 21:14

you do what you wanna do

there are loads of these unusual families all over the place

I can't keep up half the time...kids being Uncles/Aunties at the age of 3 etc, but what is the problem, really ?

there isn't one

ledkr · 18/07/2011 21:29

I am from an "unusual families" My sister and my son are 6 months apart and were in same class at school,my grandson is 2 and my daughter is 5 months so she was an auntie before she was born,its a symptom of more divorce and remarriage i think,Its great anyway and we all rub along fine.

Original poster

Lizzylou123 · 19/07/2011 20:36

Thanks for all the positive comments. Feel alot better about it now. Think it was just a bit of a shock. Thought I was coping alot better with not conceiving than it turns out I am. Started some tests now though so fingers crossed.

OP posts:

AnyFucker · 19/07/2011 21:08

good luck, lizzy

MrsRhettButler · 19/07/2011 21:22

Yh my dad had a little boy 6 mnths after I had dd, my cousin was a grandmother at age 33 and her youngest daughter is 3 years younger than her nephew.
We're definitely 'unusual'

superjobee · 19/07/2011 21:22

my friends mum is 45 and a granny of 5.. she is 5 months pg with a little girl

my other friends mum is 42 ish, a granny of 6 and has just had her 9th child

good luck ttc :)

superjobee · 19/07/2011 21:24

oh and my mates just had her 3rd child - her 2nd DC is a year older than his aunty!

Wormshuffler · 19/07/2011 21:40

It may pre-emp future "issues" if you DstepD knows now that you are trying and have been for a while. This may m,ake her more sensitive to your feelings when sounding off about things you may not wish to hear about being in your TTC state!
Good luck with it

ItsNotUnusual · 19/07/2011 21:43

I wold agree that it's not unusual.

mumatron · 19/07/2011 21:49

My mum stopped trying for another baby when I had my ds (I was 19) but she was happy with her decision. You obviously don't feel that way.

My bil and sil are expecting their first dc, she already has 2 and is a grandmother to a 1 year old ( she is 34)

I have an uncle and aunty that are both a few years younger than me.

Definitely is more 'the norm' these days.

Good luck ttc

TwinkleTops · 19/08/2011 13:13

You keep on trying. There is nothing wrong with having children younger than your grandkids.

I have lots of very good friends for one reason or another who are 10+ years younger than their nieces and nephews.

As long as you are fit and healthy - go for it.

Kailumsmum · 18/02/2012 23:18

There is no reason for you to stop. I have a 2 year old son who is older then a aunt and a uncle! My sister turned 2 Sunday just gone and my brother is 1 in May. I was pregnant at the same time as my mum. My mum found it weird becoming a manna and a mum within months but doesn't bother any of us. My sister and my son get mistaken for twins often and my mum gets funny looks when she says she's her daughter and he's her grandson. My mum is 40 in October

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