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At a crossroads - opinions welcome

16 replies

Percypigfanatic · 08/05/2022 08:34

Hi all, I’m at a crossroads where I need to decide something about my job. I’m in North England , single and on my own so find it difficult to bounce ideas and need some opinions if possible.

Current job:

PROS

  • worked for 20 years, familiar with everyone
  • job is 90% easy
  • wfh 2 days a week
  • Have changed my hours a few times in the past
  • Goodish salary
  • local



CONS
  • senior colleagues belittle and bully me. Management won’t deal with it as they have too much power / inside knowledge
  • Feel like managers are using me to argue with each other
  • Lack of communication - don’t check in with me or let me know what’s going on
  • Laziness from other work colleagues get noticed but not dealt with
  • Colleagues get away with being angry/shouting at people and not disciplined


  • No rewards for working over hours (am told to just suck it up / stop stressing)
  • Colleagues maliciously gossip and don’t have each other’s back
  • Can never switch off, constant messages from colleagues asking work questions / can you complete this, etc


Im exhausted from all the negative emotions (crying / feeling down about it sometimes) but I’m told by family that I’m so lucky to have the position I’m in and that every place of work has bullies and I just need to grow up and deal with it. Just not sure what to do. I know I’m quite lucky I’m able to work from home on a goodish wage, not a lot of people have that.
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Doyoumind · 08/05/2022 08:37

Find something else. Why would you want to stay somewhere that makes you cry?

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springbreak22 · 08/05/2022 09:05

Nope, you do not need to put up with this.

Have you started looking for something else?

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Percypigfanatic · 08/05/2022 09:10

yes I’ve sent my cv to a couple of businesses advertising but haven’t received a reply yet. Everyone who I speak to in real life thinks I’m crazy to leave and I should just be more laid back about stuff but I just can’t.

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JuneOsborne · 08/05/2022 09:13

Fuck that. If I'm spending 40 hours a week doing something, I need to enjoy it.

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Percypigfanatic · 08/05/2022 11:24

The thing is, I know a lot of people would think the benefits outweigh the negatives so I’m in two minds whether I’m being over dramatic or not.

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MintyCedricRidesAgain · 08/05/2022 11:28

You're not being dramatic at all...work is a huge part of your life.

It's good that you WFH a couple of days and are able to see the good points as that will make it easier to bear while you look for something else, but I would definitely be looking for something else in your shies.

Are you on LinkedIn? I've been job hunting for a while and have found LinkedIn and Indeed seem to have the best vacancies but I imagine that will depend in location and what field you work in.

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Viviennemary · 08/05/2022 11:31

Are there any nice folk there. No harm in looking around for another job. Then if you find one think carefully again about making the move.

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girlmom21 · 08/05/2022 11:35

If you're not happy there's absolutely no reason why you can't look around and see what else is out there!

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Percypigfanatic · 08/05/2022 11:37

Not on linked in, But I suppose I could consider it. I’ve contacted a recruitment agency but not heard anything from them yet and I’ve applied to 3 jobs so far but that was only on Thursday so don’t expect an immediate reply.

My colleagues tend to leave me out of their clique and although I’m not involved in the general bitching and backstabbing I feel like I’m not really part of the group anymore. My boss is okay and has talked me down in the past but nothing really changed. I’ve just completely detached mentally I suppose. I guess I’m more worried about upsetting my boss more than anything as he knows some of the issues but can’t do anything

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daisychain01 · 08/05/2022 12:12

The majority on your Cons list relates to the toxic environment you are having to put up with.

Can never switch off, constant messages from colleagues asking work questions / can you complete this, etc

are you allowing them to message you on your personal mobile? If so you're making a rod for your own back and I'd recommend you take back control by either blocking them on your personal phone, or if you feel that's too contentious, getting a new mobile number and not telling anyone at work about it.

whilst it's tempting to "feel needed", this is a root cause of you feeling unhappy if your home life is invaded by work,

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Wintertonnn · 08/05/2022 18:32

To me you sound like you are too influenced by what others think, ie. your family.

It sounds an awful place to work if you ask me and I’d definitely want to move on. Start looking and see if anything takes your fancy. Good luck OP.

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Percypigfanatic · 08/05/2022 19:28

thanks for all your kind messages. Yeah I have issues with listening to other peoples opinions - I’m a bit of a people pleaser which is probably why I stayed in the job so long in the first place!

Not one person has said I should stay which has really surprised me, but it’s given me the confidence to know that this isn’t right. I just feel so lonely there. I am a nice person and will do anything for anybody, I just long to have a sense of belonging and I can’t have that if I stay.

Really hope I can get another job, now I’ve made the decision I want to get out of my current place asap!

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daisychain01 · 09/05/2022 04:59

A good decision to move on to a new job with better working conditions.

I am a nice person and will do anything for anybody, I just long to have a sense of belonging and I can’t have that if I stay.

if there's one lesson to be learned it has to be that being a "nice person" definitely does not equate to doing "anything for anybody" - it isn't nice to allow yourself to be trampled over, and the way to remedy that is to take some assertiveness training so you can firmly push back on people putting on you including contact outside work time.

I can pretty much guarantee you'll get a better level of belonging and acceptance in an organisation by being someone who is respected even if not "liked".

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Chewbecca · 09/05/2022 10:10

There are an awful lot of 'cons' on that list so to me it is clear it is time to start searching for a new role.

I second LinkedIn as a must do for a job hunter.

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Percypigfanatic · 09/05/2022 16:55

Thanks daisychain, completely agree I need to be more assertive and less of a pushover!

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Percypigfanatic · 10/05/2022 06:03

Hi all, so update that since I sent my cv to 3 job applications almost a week ago I haven’t heard anything back. Is this normal ? Do I chase ?

im having a hard time keeping it together at the moment as mentally Ive left my current job but can’t hand my notice in as have no job to go to yet. No one at my current work knows or cares what’s going on and obviously haven’t told my boss how I’m feeling as I don’t feel there’s any point. Every morning I wake up feeling dread and just want to get out of there. I’m in a bit of a limbo land and just don’t know what to do.

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