LPA and People to Notify- 'difficult' sibling

[Hillyweather]

Mum is in the early stages of dementia and wants me to have finance LPA. I have been helping her with all her finances and admin etc for a while and work in finance so I think almost everyone we know would agree that this is a sensible decision in her best interests. The complication is that I do not get on with my sibling who wants to move in with her and become her primary carer. I have my own views on that, and how long it will last for, but he has said that he thinks he should have finance LPA. I have discussed this at length with Mum and she is adamant that she definitely wants me to have it, mainly because on the few occasions that sibling has been asked to do any admin type tasks they have been left for ages and she worries about whether things will be done properly. She will not tell him that, but plans to tell him that she just wants me to do it because I already know about her finances etc and she knows he is already too busy really. I am not prepared to have joint finance LPA because I don't trust him to do things 'by the book' and don't want to risk being linked with any mismanagement if OPG were to look at what was happening when she no longer has capacity.
My question is, in this situation, do I need to send him a 'person to notify' form? I can see that he might take it almost as an invitation to object (to make things harder for me and/or try to make mum change her mind) so perhaps better for mum to tell him that it has been done but not pre-notify him. But if he is not notified and later decides to object is that more of a problem? Mum has some siblings that we could notify if we feel we want to notify someone who could talk to mum etc if they had any questions about whether she really wanted the LPA.

Any other experience/advice on dealing with LPA in similar circumstances would be really helpful too. I am rather wary about taking on this role if it might leave me open to objections etc but know from another family member's experience how costly and difficult it is if no one has LPA when someone loses capacity.

Oh dear, I’m sorry OP you really are in a difficult situation, right between a rock and a hard place.

How deep into your mums financial affairs is your brother at this stage? You say he’s using her bank card? Even with her permission this is not on - the terms of her agreement with the bank will include not divulging her PIN number to anyone. What is he using her card for?

How complicated are your mums affairs? Does she have a lot of accounts / investments to keep track of? Does she have a high income?

Maybe one way to give your brother some control but not much access would be to set up a new joint account. You manage your mums access via LPA, your brother has his own access as an account holder. They both have cards, they both have equal access to the funds. Your mum can set up a standing payment to cover her costs, your brother ditto depending on whatever setup they agree on. You see all the transactions, and his spending power is limited to whatever is in that account. He doesn’t need LPA to share an account.

However, as long as your mum has capacity but is vulnerable to pressure from your brother, there is nothing to prevent him from ‘persuading’ her to agree to spend money from other sources. I don’t know if you can guard against that while staying at arms length?