Elderly relative in a bad way

[ohsonogo]

Looking for some advice.

I have a 95-year-old relative who is becoming increasingly vulnerable. She can still make simple meals and use the toilet independently, but she can no longer wash or shower herself.

Her house is in a very poor state, her bedding is never changed, and she drinks large amounts of alcohol while refusing water or soft drinks. She has left pans on the hob, caused a serious flood, and her memory is very poor. She often doesn’t recognise close family members and has recently started leaving the house, then returning unable to unlock her own door.

During her more lucid moments, she insists she wants to remain at home and refuses to consider residential care.

Her immediate family don’t feel any intervention is necessary and won’t involve her GP, social services or carers, believing she should simply be left at home.

What would you do in this situation?

Talk to the close family and see if they can be persuaded to at least get carers. Otherwise Contact GP and if that doesn’t work social services.

Put in a safeguarding report (her local council website) if you believe she is at risk of harm. But with a resistant close family as well as her not wanting to engage there is not a lot you can do other than that.

Make a report to adult social care yourself.

Be clear about the level of risk here - unattended pots on the hob are a massive fire risk, wandering around whilst locked out is a huge risk to her health with the current extremes of weather, the alcohol consumption will aggravate all the risks. Add in the level of hygiene, and the failure to recognise people and she's clearly struggling.

Also make it clear that her family don't see it as an issue and your concern is now one of neglect by them given the risk she poses to herself.

tell adult social care what youve told us.

Definitely get in touch with social services. You can probably use an online form and do it anonymously if that helps.
As others have said this is a safe guarding issue & possibly neglect from family.
Maybe they don't want any services as this will eat at any future inheritance? (Hopefully this isn't the case but it's a consideration)