Dissapointed today on holiday no one offered a seat to elderly

[cleo333]

Hi I’m on holiday in Italy and saddened today on a local and tourist bus that no one offered a seat to elderly people . Children were not encouraged to offer their seats and no adult got up either. It was very busy, v hot and the bus broke hard where I found it hard to stand . I just found it sad , where has that manner /respect gone ?

People should be more Spanish. I was on a bus in Tenerife when an elderly lady boarded and several other passengers basically hustled me to stand (I was the youngest passenger by some way). I was happy to do so but when I moved my bag off my lap and it became apparent I was heavily pregnant I was hustled promptly back into my seat with lots of fuss and smiles from the older ladies and someone else stood

I see both sides of this.

The other people had already paid for a seat - why shouldn’t they use it?

Ideally no one would stand. Once the vehicle is full the driver should just say no more passengers.

I agree. I look fit and young(ish) but I have arthritis and can struggle to stand safely on a moving vehicle.

In my experience on the island of Madeira, it’s almost embarrassing that on crowded buses so many younger people & teens will stand for older folk.
it was so considerate, so kind.
I love Madeira for all sorts of reasons.

I think on public transport, you sort of have to take your chances.
It is nice if someone does, but there isn't really an entitlement.
Some people get offended at other people offering them a seat.

How old / infirm do you look ?

I’m in my fifties and gibe to stand but these old ladies weren’t and not one offered it was poor to see

I look fine, but if anyone hustled and hassled me to stand for someone else, they’d get a very blunt “fuck off” (it’s understood in any country). I have a disability which causes chronic pain, but don’t and won’t advertise that fact.

Just because many people look fit and healthy, it doesn’t mean they all are.

In Spain it’s the opposite, they offer you a seat of your are older than about 40, so embarrassing, I’m potentially more capable of standing than them, practice on London’s crowded transport!

Italy has a HUGE respect for its elders. People finding older people a seat, letting them skip queues, all that stuff.

Are you sure that no one offered them a seat eg before you got on? Italy has a lot of sprightly older people in good health who often refuse when you offer, as on the tram I was on recently. I saw a woman in her eighties repeatedly refuse a seat and then head up the stairs at the station the pace of a woman in her forties. Mediterranean diet does mean lots of older people in very good health!

I visited Italy again recently and was so impressed with its approach to older people, families, and those with disabilities. This does not sound typical at all.

Just to add, if it was a tourist bus, maybe the passengers weren’t Italian…

Did you offer them a seat?

I’m the same, I have a walking stick for longer walks but I will take it on public transport as it’s a visual clue I’m struggling.

I’m 60, but pass for younger. I suffer from back pain and will always try to get a seat. YABU for judging, My older Italian MIL would most certainly and stubbornly turn down any offers of a seat.

Whilst I agree that manners are important, I disagree that elderly people are automatically due any respect, over and above other people. Respect is earned.

chalk outlines - I was also standing and it was a 40 minutes ride with a mix of tourists mostly a few locals and quite a few older children

I don't think you can judge from a single bus journey.
Maybe the local bus users know well that the older people always refuse?

@CheeseWisely That’s so lovely to read!!

NOt Enough Italians on the bus as they would have intervened and told people to stand up and have respect even if communicating in gestures !

I always find it astonishing that people don’t / won’t put small kids on their laps to give their seat to a person who’s struggling. That’s what my mom always did with me.

Nobody should be hustling random strangers out of their seats because they have no idea whether they have a need for the seat. Not all disabilities are visible. Able bodied people should allow those less able to sit, but singling out one person isn’t the way to go.

Agree re children. Was on very crowded bus the other day and a woman with two children was constantly checking there were no older people needing a seat. When they did she immediately got the smaller child on her lap. (The children were probably 9 and 11 ish so not little!). It was very refreshing to see in these days.

I will always offer my seat to someone who is elderly or has mobility issues on a bus.

However I won't do so in long train journey just because I have a (hidden) disability myself and would struggle.

But yes I would expect able people to be polite and offer their seat to an elderly person.

I also expect parents to put small children on their knees to free spaces.

Ooh yay! Another “people these days” thread.

I’m 52, people have complained about this as far back as I remember.

I spend my days wherever we are kicking people out of wheelchair spaces. The general consensus seems to be it’s ok for people to use these if there is nobody there with a wheelchair, we only have to ask and people will move. We have to plan travel, make sure there are ramps available, book assistance, wait to get off trains and planes and buses etc. We get tutted at for “skipping” queues, we have to argue with people just to get where we need to get to. This isn’t because of “people these days” it’s how the system works.

Nobody who isn’t disabled seems to be particularly bothered about this, if there was a thread about it, there would be half a dozen posts, mostly from disabled people, noting how terrible it is, and a whole bunch from non disabled people saying we can’t have everything, and we need to be grateful for what there is. Yet post about some old people having to stand and it’s outrage from all corners.

If you are on public transport and you need a seat either plan your journey better, or ask someone to move. I’ll stand for anyone who looks like they need a seat, but expecting everyone to do that hasn’t been a thing for about half a century. I’m not sure why people are constantly surprised and upset that it doesn’t happen.

Well the elderly lady who boarded on two sticks definitely COULDN’T stand, so someone was going to have to if they were at all able, and I would have, if they’d let me.

Did they not offer elderly people or did tjey not offer "tourists"?

Were those who didn't offer locals or tourists?

Italy is the one place that I found I was being offered seats on crowded trains and buses by young men nearly all the time. In my late 50’s, and never offered a seat in the UK, though my mother in her 80’s does get seats offered.