Overnight loss of mobility in elderly relative, what should we do?

[Trea820]

Hi, first time poster here.
I would be grateful for any advice regarding an elderly relative who has suddenly lost a lot of mobility, literally overnight. She is 83.
Last Monday 1 June she went to bed her usual self, driving, shopping, doing her own washing and ironing. On the Tuesday she says she woke up, tried to stand and could not.
She is able to move short distances of a few metres with a zimmer frame she got from the hospital. She does not seem well enough to even get herself a drink from the kitchen. She spends most of the day horizontal on bed. She complains that the pain is in her hips.
When we got wind of this, she was taken to hospital on the Thursday, stayed overnight but not admitted. Her hips were x rayed and are fine, although the x ray showed “degenerative and spondylotic changes in the lower lumbar spine”.
She was sent home from hospital with no follow up or advice!
However, she does not help herself as she is not truthful with medical professionals when they speak to her, she says she is fine apart from her hips. Appreciate she’s 83 but this is literally an overnight change.
She has since Friday similarly largely lain in bed. I called her GP yesterday and they sent out the nurse practitioner who checked the basics and said she’s fine apart from the mobility.
I am struggling with the next step. Big issue is that I can’t claim that relative does not have capacity, although I think she has been getting forgetful. I don’t have medical PoA nor does anyone else. She will not want to go hospital again for more tests. She gets snippy when I said that a doctor needs to come and examine her. She said no to every question at the hospital because she just wanted to go home.
I am getting some pushback from other relatives who say just leave it now, we’ve tried, she doesn’t want help etc.
But I don’t think this overnight change should just be accepted with no diagnosis and therefore no treatment? She was given codeine at hospital that is all.
Obviously there is the impact on those around her who will now have to care for her or get someone in.
The nurse practitioner said it could be a flare up of arthritis. Relative has complained of arthritis and hip pain in the past, but arthritis was not noted on the x ray and she does not have rheumatoid arthritis.
Again with the nurse practitioner relative maintained everything was fine apart from her hips … while lying horizontal in bed.
Any advice very welcome, thank you for reading.

Your relatives are correct. She should at least be due a visit by an occupational therapist who can assess if there’s anything that can be done to make living in her own home manageable. If she refuses help, however then I guess it depends on how much you are realistically able to give.

It sounds to me like you’ve made it too easy for her to blag all the health professionals that might have been able to help. Sorry if that sounds tough, but I’ve had years of battling with my stubborn elderly mum and have finally had the strength to stand back so that the health and social services can do what is required.

Does anyone attend appointments with her? We had similar with DM, she would gloss over things and lie by omission. Now I go with her for routine appointments (helped by the fact she can no longer drive) and DH does A&E trips. She’s learned that if she doesn’t tell the whole truth then we’ll do it for her.

Sorry just to say....Did she get kidney functions and infection blood levels checked? UTI for example cause sudden decline in mobility before any other symptoms may appear.

Was she checked for infections and stroke? Both can cause mobility issues and can be missed. Given the very sudden onset, a mechanical problem seems less likely.

I second was she thoroughly checked for infections and stroke? It sounds to me like they have check for changes to existing conditions but not for new things. Have they done basic temp, pulse, etc - a relatively mild infection could cause an unusual reaction in an elderly person.