Will a letter to my mother's GP appear in her notes?

[Chenecinquantecinq]

Hi I am becoming increasingly worried my mother has signs of dementia. If I write in to her GP will my letter be attached to her medical file so that she will be able to access it or can I ask for it not to be attached? Somtimes she does ask for access to her notes (she doesn't have the App). Obviously I could call Reception Monday and ask them but I thought I would see if anyone here knows. She would be very angry if she knew I had raised my concerns but I am now worried about her driving etc thanks

If it isn’t attached to the notes there’s no point sending it, as no one will know about it when seeing her.

Fair point so basically there is no way of contacting her GP in confidence then. I understand the DVLA have a confidential way of contacting them. Personally I think for elderly people it would be useful to have a way of concerns being raised and attached to notes but not visible to the patient but probably this breaches loads of rules and regulations yet is possible with DVLA

You can hide visibility in medical notes so certain things aren’t able to be seen. This would be the case for safeguarding stuff, for example, where other people and details may be named.

You could send a letter of concern and ask that it not be made visible to your mum.

Items can be added to a GP record and made hidden, and I'm pretty sure therefore wouldn't print out/be accessible externally. It's a reasonably normal conversation for relatives, they will know what to do about it. Make sure it's written that you are concerned about X relative knowing due to fear of mistrust or similar.

Thanks for the updates everyone that is really helpful to know I will certainly write in then. Thank you

Googled:

Yes, you can absolutely write to your GP to share concerns about your mum. This is often called a "third-party concern." GPs find this information highly valuable, especially if your mum is unable to communicate her needs clearly, is resistant to seeking help, or if you want to ensure the doctor is aware of specific changes you've noticed.
How to Write to the GP
State the purpose clearly: Start by stating your name, your relationship to your mum, and the reason you are writing.
Provide concrete examples: Rather than using general terms, note specific instances. For example, instead of "she's not eating well," write, "On Tuesday, I found a week's worth of untouched meals in her fridge."
Include a timeline: Mention when you first started noticing these changes (e.g., memory lapses, mood swings, or physical difficulties).
List current medications: Include any medications she is currently taking and mention if she is struggling to manage them.
Best Ways to Send the Letter
Email: Check your GP practice's website for their official email address or use an online consultation form (such as e-Consult) if they offer it.
Post: You can send a physical letter, but it is often quicker to drop it into the reception or email it directly.
Mark it confidential: Address it directly to her named GP to ensure it is added to her medical records securely.
What Happens Next
Due to patient confidentiality, the GP cannot discuss your mum's medical details or your letter with you without her consent. However, they can receive and read the information you provide. The GP will use your concerns to discreetly investigate, perhaps by inviting your mum in for a routine check-up or a health review where they can assess the situation themselves.
To find the contact information for your mum's surgery or to access online consultation forms, you can look up her practice on the NHS GP Finder.

I’ve spoken to my mums gp in confidence several times - sadly not before she crashed her car though! Please raise the concern before you have to go through the same. It was pure hell as she had multiple fractures and required a year of care, got hospital confusion then had to live with us 😬

Call reception and ask to speak to the dr in confidence. He can then call her in for routine assessment. Also you can speak to the dvla about her too.

Oh gosh thank you yes this is exactly what I am worried about. My father completely agrees she's had a few (luckily) minor prangs but he says when in the car with her she doesn't see traffic jams and only brakes because he screams at her. I am just waiting for something worse to happen but she won't listen to either of us she says we are both ganging up on her. Very tricky situation and morally I feel I have to do something before she hurts someone else driving! The sad thing is years ago with my great grandmother etc my mum was the one saying how dangerous she was and how we had to do something, yet now she's elderly and driving dangerously she cannot see it!!

You can report anonymously to the DVLA and they will contact her doctor for further information.

Best if you've contacted the doctor first, of course.

(I reported my own mum for driving while alcoholic...)

Unfortunately I don’t think contacting her doctor with your concerns will get the issue addressed quickly. They would need to get her in for an appointment with a view to booking a brain scan and getting her assessed at a memory clinic - both of which have waiting lists. You can report anonymously to the DVLA but I don’t know how long it takes them to action it or indeed if they do anything at all. Sadly it seems - as with just about everything else - to be the personal responsibility of adult DCs to remove car keys if you have specific cause for concern, which of course is difficult if the elderly relative doesn’t agree there is an issue and likely to be defensive and aggressive about the matter.