Driving

[LeaveMeOutOfIt]

My parent is in their late seventies but still very mobile, independent and cognisant.

after a car accident during which someone hit their car and shunted them into traffic, police requested that they attend a driving assessment. They are now freaking out.

I just wondered if anyone had experience of this happening to their parent and them passing the assessment despite their nerves?

I don’t want to go into more detail in case they see this.

My uncle had to do one. He had a couple of lessons first just make sure he was ok and they said he was fine, as did the assessor.
Make sure they can read a number plate from the required distance and get an eye check if not.
Uncle is 89 and a bit more cautious but still happily driving.

If your parent is a safe driver, there’s absolutely no need to worry, it’ll be a walk in the park.

If they’re not, they quite rightly should be taken off the road

Exactly. Get them to have a few lessons with a driving instructor to brush up but really if they are safe to drive they shouldn’t need them should they?

Absolutely

just to clarify, I am not the one who is nervous.

my relative is and I am hoping that the assessor is used to people who are nervous and who have recently been shunted off the road by another driver - which has understandably done nothing to put them at ease on the road.

did your relative find the assessment ok despite the nerves?

They are having lessons.

my worry is that this experience has really knocked their confidence on the roads. They are safe but nervous.

I'd encourage them to book a couple of refresher lessons. A few years ago I was a horserider in a horrendous RTC (all people and animals Ok, but a very lucky and narrow escape). The experience really knocked my driving confidence as I kept seeing drivers in the corner of my eyes about to do the awful overtake which initiated the RTC I was involved in. At roundabouts, I became really hesitant as I was having flashbacks triggered by cars coming at me from the side. I had to book a couple of refresher lessons to get my driving confidence back, and the instructor was great. I also accessed a couple of sessions of therapy through my riding insurer to talk through the trauma and flashbacks, and found that very helpful. Your relative might also benefit from talking through the incident.

The driving assessment teams are brilliant and their focus is getting people back on the road. I refer people there often and I hear positive things about the experience.

Very similar happened to my grandfather. He was involved in an accident, miraculously not his fault, but was sent for a driver assessment. He failed it, miserably. Eye sight, sloppy use of one hand on the wheel, incorrect use of gears and poor spatial awareness.

He never got over it and never managed to pass. The car, a massive BMW was sold, for peanuts, and his mood and sense of self went downhill for years.

To be honest, I'd have happily shaken the other drivers hand as he should never have still been on the road. All this self declaration stuff is madness for many stubborn, selfish old people, who yes, had "been in the war", but only as 7 year olds looking up at the skies from a farm in devon...

Id insist on compulsory driving tests at 70, then every 5yrs... If I were in government. It will save a lot of lives.

Well. I am happy to report that they passed the assessment and scored 99% in the cognitive test so thankfully they remain safely on the road.

the only comments were about how nervous they were but this was expected after such a traumatic incident.

Diamond7272 I am very sorry to hear about your relative. I totally understand how traumatic and upsetting this must have been

If their accident was not their fault - hit or shunted by another car - why did they have to d an assessment?

We are wondering that too. All I can say is no insurance claims were made against my relative and the incident began when another car hit my relative’s car.

Well done to your relative. We took away our mums opportunity to drive as we could tell she was not capable and unsafe. Dad is still OK and it is DB job to check on this regularly as he has been a driving instructor for many years.

I think someone needs to check up on FIL and your post has reminded me to nag DH again.

When I had just passed my test (many decades ago) a car reversed off their driveway without looking into the side of my car. I was driving in a 30 on a main road out of a local town. It was very unexpected and really shook me up. And whilst have had driven many many miles since then, I still have moments when I see a car moving out of a drive or side street to my left and think “are they going to stop”