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Elderly parents

Rapid mental decline in elderly father-in-law abroad, dementia or delirium?

5 replies

Watchthe · 30/04/2026 08:50

Hi all, I really need some advice or to hear from anyone who has been through something similar.

My husband has gone to Morocco as he got a call from a neighbour that his dad was in the streets. When they took him home his house was a state. He has a dog and there was hair everywhere, food rotting and his dad has list a lot of weight.

My father-in-law, in his 70s, has had a really rapid mental decline over the past couple of months. Before this he was living alone and managing.

Now it’s a complete change. He:

  • is very paranoid (saying people are going to kill him)
  • believes there are people outside watching him
  • is seeing things that aren’t there (he said there is a tiny lady the size of a cigarette stealing his money)
  • believes there is a “list” and he is number 7 to be killed, and that other men have already been taken
  • says things that don’t make sense and repeats himself
  • isn’t doing his normal routine at all anymore

He has always recognised my husband, so he still knows who he is, but at the same time is having these hallucinations and beliefs.

He refused to go to a doctor and even chased one away saying he was an agent. At night it seems worse he sweats, stares at the ground, and looks genuinely frightened and distressed.

There are moments where he can still do things if guided (my husband got him to help make mint tea by prompting him step by step), but mentally he is very different.

We are trying to get him seen properly but it’s difficult as he is refusing and this is happening abroad.

Has anyone seen something like this before? Did it turn out to be dementia, delirium, or something else? Can it really come on this quickly?

I feel like this is more than just “normal ageing” and we’re watching something serious happen but struggling to get help in place.

Any experiences or advice would really help.

OP posts:
200skies · 30/04/2026 08:59

He needs to be seen by a doctor urgently. Something similiar happened to my MIL, and it was hard to get her to the hospital too but in the end my DH managed. She had a UTI which had triggered delirium. She was admitted for a week because she had stopped eating and drinking and was very weak and delusional.

It has been clear for about a year that she has dementia but after a few weeks of delirium she went back to her baseline. Only after being treated though.

ETA: she can't be left alone since then and has a carer who is now with her every day.

Watchthe · 30/04/2026 09:21

I’m trying to get my husband to get his dad out. He doesn’t want to leave the house and he thinks the Dr who came is an agent for the King.

OP posts:
200skies · 30/04/2026 11:53

Watchthe · 30/04/2026 09:21

I’m trying to get my husband to get his dad out. He doesn’t want to leave the house and he thinks the Dr who came is an agent for the King.

Is there any way your DH can sneak a urine sample that he could take to the GP? UTIs are very common in elderly people and can trigger delirium.

MrsCarmelaSoprano · 01/05/2026 23:57

Sounds like it might be delirium which is a symptom of something so that something needs to be diagnosed and treated asap. Can a doctor be called to visit? Ambulance? It's a medical emergency.

Electricsausages · 02/05/2026 15:43

An uncle went completely raving with a bad water infection

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