No PoA for 93 yo mum

[mamaduckbone]

I can’t believe I’ve been so naive. When my ddad died my brother (who is 18 years older than me and more of another father figure) sorted out all the legal and financial side of things for mum. I have stupidly always assumed he had PoA for mum, who is now 93 and has just been admitted to hospital with a broken shoulder.
It became evident in the bedside conversation that he’s never done it, and only because mum brought the subject up. So now I’ve set an account up and will do as much of the online form as possible with her tomorrow. Luckily she’s still sharp as a tack and fully mentally capable but honestly, I could kill him.
Thank god it’s so straightforward and doesn’t need solicitors etc. I’m so cross…we shouldn’t be having to deal with this now.
She has a friend visiting on Thursday who can be the witness. Is there anything else I need to think about?

I think you may need two witnesses? (I can't recall exactly though.)

Make sure you read the accompanying notes on filling it in in the correct order because if you don’t it’ll bounce back to be done again( they won’t charge you but they do put a time limit on it) and it will take longer to process.
Are you doing ‘health and well-being’ as well as the ‘financial?’
I didn’t have ‘health and well-being being’ for my Dad even though I thought I did and it made things difficult when he lost capacity due to dementia.
Decisions about his care had to be done by a social worker and it was all quite long winded and protracted.
I made sure I got it sorted for my mum though.

Thank you. I’ll have a good look at it today before I go in. I plan to do both, just in case, although it’s more the financial that I’m concerned about.

If she is having you and your brother joint and severally it often is more convenient.
Also is she having Financial PoA and Medical Pof A?
Have you consulted her lawyer? Might be something you are not aware of?

Your brother sounds like he has done a lot for your mum already. You should not be angry at him because it’s now an inconvenience. Your mum could have asked for this to be set up at any time.

When I did it you only needed one.

OP, Health and Wellbeing will be more important should your mum not be able to advocate for herself in the future. You'll find trying to navigate healthcare extremely difficult without it.

Lots of families manage without one - what are the consequences of not having it that you are worried about right now that is making it feel urgent to you?

Finance and Property LPOA if your mum is going to imminently need help with accessing her bank or selling a property etc is the most important.

If she's not showing any signs of cognitive decline then the health and welfare one is unlikely to offer much benefit at the moment. It's main use is for agreeing that someone who lacks capacity to agree themselves should be admitted into a care home, and once there make decisions about use of medications / uncessary hospital admissions etc.

You need the finance one as well OP. May be difficult to arrange/make healthcare decisions for your mum in future if you cannot access the funds to support that care.

It's main use is for agreeing that someone who lacks capacity to agree themselves should be admitted into a care home, and once there make decisions about use of medications / uncessary hospital admissions etc.

Navigating any part of the health care system would be difficult without one. You need it for any kind of decision.

Why are you so angry at your brother? You could kill him? Unless you’re still a child yourself (presume not given the age of your mother), you could have asked if it was in place or offered to set it up at anytime. Maybe he was fed up of taking on the role of “second dad”. If you’d posted on here as the brother saying you couldn’t believe your sister hadn’t set up POA because she did everything else, you’d have been torn a new one!

I’m sorry your mum is in hospital and has a broken shoulder - that must be very painful for her. It sounds as if she is mentally fine, so getting it all set up now should be easy enough.

Provably worth considering you and your brother getting your own POA’s set up and in place now before you potentially need them in the future too! I’m assuming your brother is in his 70’s at least?

You will need to print the form/s off as everyone needs to sign a paper document. As others have said you need to decide whether you are doing both power of attorney forms (health and finance) and also who is going to be the attorneys as they also need to sign the paper document/s before a witness. Do everything in the correct order - the notes explain. I have completed these for my MIL, DH and myself without any problem. A solicitor did them for my parents and made 2 errors which I then had to chase them to correct.

Well you said it yourself. "Stupidly assumed".
Never assume important things like this.

You will need more than 1 witness I think, there needs to be one who explains what the PoA means and another to witness the signatures I think. You need to have it all printed out too. The online form is just the template to create the printout. Sending it off then and it takes a good few weeks to be registered.

It may be quicker and simpler to make some interim arrangements for finances if thats what youre worried about

It’s one of those things people often don’t think about in a timely manner. I’ve got older DBs, one is a GP who you’d have thought would be very aware that it’s a good idea to have PoAs in place before they’re needed, parents were very sensible people too but they didn’t do anything till I raised the issue after seeing DH having problems helping an elderly childless uncle, and then getting PoAs set up for his parents. DBs and parents got straight onto it after my prompting.

In the end, MiLs was the only one which was ever needed but it would have been a nightmare for DH without.

well done for getting onto it now, and don’t be cross with your DB as it’s all too common an omission.

I've just checked and it hasn't changed since I did it. You need one witness, they sign to say that in their opinion the person has capacity and knows what PoA is, and they also witness your signature (and the signatures of any other potential attorneys). You could have separate people doing those, if you wanted, but why bother. My next door neighbour was witness.

The form is very straightforward.

Don’t be mad at your brother, it obviously didn’t occur to him and he would have had a very full plate at the time.

But you are right to get it done ASAP. Ours took several months to be processed last year, thankfully they were not needed in a hurry. We submitted in August, they came back in October I think but there was an issue at their end that I spotted which was not corrected until late January.

I agree with others that doing both is important. Being able to advocate for her and make decisions health wise will be as important as the money.

Good luck.

Just one I think

I’m not really angry with him, more exasperated and a bit panicked.

Thanks for all the helpful responses - I’ve completed the forms for both financial and health today after discussing with mum and dbro, we will ask her close friend to witness when she’s visiting and get them sent off pronto.

She’s due to have surgery next week which obviously at her age is not without risk, but thoroughly expect her to bounce back as she always does. There will be a long period of rehabilitation though so PoA will allow us to manage her finances for her (when it comes through, which I know will take a few weeks)

@Tillow4everI actually get on extremely well with my brother and have no actual desire to kill him! When ddad died we divided the jobs - he didn’t do it all - and at the time I wasn’t at all clued up on such things. Then it just hasn’t been talked about. I think collectively we’re a bit ostrich-like…lesson learned!