Has anyone recorded their elderly parents' life stories or memoirs?

[TicklishDenimSquid]

Does anyone else feel a quiet urgency to capture their parents' stories before it's too late?

My parents are getting older and they've had a remarkable life — the kind full of stories I've heard bits of over the years but never properly sat down and recorded. I keep thinking I'll do it properly one day, and then life gets in the way.

Recently I decided to actually do something about it. I started looking into how you'd go about turning someone's life story into a proper written memoir — not just a voice note on my phone, but something beautiful I could actually keep and pass down. What I found is that professional biographers charge thousands, and DIY options are either too complicated or produce something that feels a bit flat.

So I'm in the early stages of building something that guides either you and your loved one together, or just a loved one through their life story via a structured interview, then turns it into a properly written memoir. I want to be upfront about that, because I genuinely want to hear from people rather than just pitch at them.

Has anyone here done something like this — recorded a parent's stories in any form? Did they enjoy the process, or did it feel strange to be asked about their life? And is a written memoir something you'd want, or is it more about having the recording itself?

Any thoughts really welcome — I'm still figuring out what people actually need from something like this.

I’d love to hear people’s ideas too. I spent ages trying to get my mother to write down her early memories of her life in India, and she just can’t get started. I suggested loads of different things – just starting anywhere, using a voice recorder, thinking about noises or smells she remembers and writing descriptions broadening out from that – but none of it has worked.

I got something as a Christmas gift for my dad a few years ago, can’t think what it was called but it gives prompts for chapters, they submit their stories over time and eventually, it gets turned into a book. God knows when it will be finished but he has some crazy stories so I look forward to reading one day!

Just a word of caution about how you approach this.

As much as my df enjoyed telling his stories to anyone who’d listen he didn’t like the way people sometimes would whip out phones, or even paper, and treat him like a commodity to be mined.

My mil has a cupboard of life story books that received as gifts, and her attitude is that anyone who wants to know her life history should do her the honour of sitting with her and spending time, not just expect her to produce a writing assignment for their convenience.

It’s definitely one of those things where you need to know your intended recipient is open to the idea.

I have my GPS lifecstories, recorded on tape in early 90s, gave recently transferred to digital, they're lovely

A friend was showing me this book that she had been given by her daughter for mothers day - it's a notebook with questions at the top of each page (e.g.what are your earliest memories ? who was your best friend at school ? what was your first job ?) that she is to fill in and then return to the daughter completed.

I think it was this one....
Dear Mum, From You To Me: Memory Journal Capturing Your Mother's Own Amazing Stories (Journals Of A Lifetime): Timeless Collection: Amazon.co.uk: FROM YOU TO ME: 9781907860300: Books

I tried to get my dad to write down his wartime memories (he was in the Royal Navy), but he never did it. He liked telling stories to his grandchildren - lots of things he never told his own children, I guess because so much more time had passed and things were a bit less raw.

Yes I did just them talking about their childhood, we still had a video recorder.I am really glad we did it.
Also my dad wrote his family history down, he had researched a bot what he remembered it's really nice to read.Even if not everything is 100 percent accurate, it's nice to have an idea why you are the way you are.

My mother had a written record from her aunt of family history from the early 18th century.
My dad was given a few weeks to live in 2010 and suddenly started telling me all kinds of things about his life. I didn't record it, just listened, but I wrote it down afterwards.

I’ve done this with DH’s granny whilst doing her family tree. She was delighted to talk as she knows I’m genuinely interested. She’s 104 and the changes in the world in her lifetime have been fascinating to hear from her perspective.

I am actually just about to record my dad doing his Desert Island discs. I am hoping it opens up stories I may not have heard before.

Yes my mum did but in her case both her parents typed up memoirs. Her father spoke to a distant relative who recorded his memoirs.

I have! Or rather I got my DF to he’s in his 90s. Unfortunately although I asked my DM before she died she wasn’t interested. My DF talked onto tape. I plan on turning them into a scrapbook- I have done mine too as my kids have no idea of my life before I had them, apart from vague bits.

Sort of - the questions I didn't know the answers to were unusable. For Mum - did you have sex before marriage? Who with (she married in 1946). Did you have orgasms? Do you think Dad had an affair with x? What were the phases of your marriage? How did you get pregnant with me (I was definitely unplanned but much loved) - something routine? after a drunken party? For Dad - how did your parents parent you? Were you a happy child? What was it like surviving the war when you really didn't expect to and had no after plan? How did it feel being such a business failure compared to your expectations and family? etc etc

When my kids were little I bought a book called Grandparents Remember. It’s one that the GPs fill in with specific life events and info, like their place of birth, their own parents, their wedding, occupation etc. My MIL filled it in beautifully, my mother unfortunately couldn’t be bothered. But at least we have something.
I think I’ll do some writing of my own about my parents’ lives. They’re both now gone, and there’s nobody else apart from me that knows much about their lives. Thank you for the prompt @TicklishDenimSquid !

This is all really interesting feedback and really motivating, It would make me so happy to be able to provide people with the chance to capture such cherished stories as well as for myself.

Its quite a tricky subject to broach given how personal it could be and of course nothing would beat sitting down with your parents or loved ones and interviewing them yourself, but if that wasent an option, (this isent a pitch) would a service be of interest at all where a loved one was interviewed over somthing like zoom, or via an app, or even by a family member who was aided with prompts for questions to ask?

And again, I was thinking what I would like to preserve the most, and for my own parents I think its their voice, and their stories, so an audiobook and a physical book, would that be of interest at all?

Anyway, its really great to hear people comments and Id love to know that if a product or service was available would people be interested and if not what would their reservations be!

This isent a pitch

I think it is...
I wouldn't be interested because it's a very personal, private thing to do and I would be perfectly capable of doing it myself.

No its really not, I'm not offering to do this for anyone. Well not yet at least, I'd love to be able to in the future and its somthing that I'm working on, like I explained in my first message.

But you are totally right, it is personal and people can do it themselves, there are certainly a lot of people who would feel uncomfortable with it which of course is absolutely understood. Just thinking out loud, although most people are able to, for one reason or another so many people dont and regret it, myself kind of included.