Blood transfusion for parent

[Meandmouse]

Hi,
Anyone any experience of blood transfusions with an elderly person.
Dad age 96 with recurrent UTI has not been eating since Christmas or eating very little. His haemoglobin is very low and the doctor in nursing home is recommending a blood transfusion. He has a huge fear of hospitals and is refusing to go.
Has anyone been through this with a parent ?

Just because the GP would like him to have a blood transfusion doesn't mean the hospital will provide one. Depending on the cause of his anaemia, it isn't necessarily the appropriate treatment either - an iron infusion may be better, something else, or nothing at all. Blood transfusion does carry risks, especially when you are giving one to a person who is already very frail. He almost certainly isn't suitable for a day case so would need admitting to hospital and I can see why he wants to avoid it.

It's also worth bearing in mind that a blood transfusion lasts about a month - after that what treatment is being suggested? Will there be something in place to stop him being anaemic again or is a continuous round of transfusions being suggested?

The aim of a blood transfusion is to make him feel better from symptoms such as fatigue and breathlessness. As you describe your dad as being frail and living in a care home, I am wondering how much being treated would improve any symptoms.

Lastly, and I am sorry to be so blunt - it sounds like your dad knows what he wants, understands that he is very ill and wants to stay where he is. Eating very little is often the start of the natural dying process. Sometimes we can give treatments but all that happens is prolonging dying rather than prolonging living.

I hope your dad and you come to a decision which however painful, you are both at peace with.

Thank you so much for that message.
You have confirmed all my thoughts.
I think a hospital stay of any length will be very distressing for him.

@Meandmouse if you have POA you could do what we have done and ask the NH not to hospitalise him unless it is a serious fall for example where they suspect a broken bone. We were advised by our DF consultant that there was nothing else that could be done for our DF and that a hospital stay would likely be detrimental. Whilst it means there are probably some things that could do with being seen to the trauma and distress of the journey to and invasive procedures isn’t in our view worth it. Whilst he has no pain we prefer he is left alone and cared for in the home. As @AnnaMagnani wisely said the eating is possibly a sign he has had enough. Very sensible ‘prolonging dying/prolonging living’. If I could have my say I would ask if our DF could be taken off the vast amount of medication he is on as things are he is existing not living.

Sending a hug and 💐

Thank you, here with him now.
Hard to say or think but do believe he’s had enough. Nothing is giving him enjoyment not even the rugby today.