Dementia diagnosis- what now?

[NetZeroZealot]

DM, 87, lives with DF, 90 & frail. She has just been diagnosed with mild mixed dementia (Alzheimer’s & vascular) which we saw coming. Medication prescribed to help slow it down.
What should I be planning for? We have to notify DVLA but I think she’ll be allowed to continue driving & I do feel she is safe to do so for familiar journeys.
LPAs & AA in place.
Carers come in to help with medication & meal planning.
What else should I do and what can I expect going forward?
She’s her normal lovely self most of the time but can’t remember what happened 5 minutes ago. DF can be a bit impatient & is in denial I think.

Do you have lpa?

Ask the person that diagnosed her about the driving. It doesn't sound safe to me.

Sorry.

I did. The consultant said she scored well above the DVLA’s normal cut off level.

yes. In my OP.

Similar situation to us. I've registered Lpoa with bank just in case. I've taken over online shopping. Check council tax for reduced rate & also Attendance Allowance- is that the AA in yiur original post?

Not much else really. We dobt have carers yet- parents refusing but I think that will be next.

Thanks. Council tax is a good shout. Didn’t think of that. Yes, both DP now getting the lower rate of Attendance Allowance.

Mine refused carers for months but after DM had a few falls they accepted them & now get along well.

Re the DVLA you need to complete form CG1 and inform her insurance company of these diagnoses straight away. Fines up to £1000 are imposed if they are not informed, the rules re driving and dementia are very clear. The agency will ask about the person’s medical information and decide if they are safe to drive.

Do not forget about you here and get support for yourself; contact the Alzheimers Society if you have not already done so.

Ah sorry in my sleepy state I missed that! Only asked because I’m an elderly nurse and often people realise once someone’s already lost capacity they need it but missed the opportunity. It sounds positive she’s had an early diagnosis. Is it memantine they’ve started her on? In my experience, the earlier the diagnosis, the better the outcome. Don’t put too much pressure on yourself and take it day by day ❤️

How much are you going to be expected to do for them. I had LPA so took over all their finances. I registered it with all of their utilities companies as well as banks and building societies. I changed their address to mine so that I could keep track of bills and appointments.

I set up a file with all personal details.
DoB, DoM, doctors, NI numbers, medications.
I kept a record of every phone call I made on their behalf. You will be asked the same info over and over again so keep the file beside you. Note dates, times, names of who you spoke with and outcomes discussed. This stops any deniability when subsequent calls are made,

Without being rude I became very assertive, using phrases like ‘duty of care and vulnerable adult’.

Age UK are a brilliant resource to help you manage.

Thank you. Yes, Memantine. I’m trying to take it day by day. And not worry too
much about the future- after all
they are 87 & 90.

Thanks. Form CG1 is done. Will let insurance company know on Monday.

I activated LPA with bank about 6 months ago as neither of them were coping with finances.
Im going to make a list of all the other organisations I should now contact.
Some great suggestions here from everyone. Thanks.

It is hard going- I got advice on here about council tax etc so nice to be able to pass it on. My dad is 86, diagnosed in November, not driving now so that's a big upheaval for them both. Did you organise carers with a local private company?

Can your DF cope, both physically and mentally? My DM is early stage dementia and I am doing most caring for her at the moment. She is living independently but only because I am helping out. It has hit me so hard mentally but at least I can escape home.

My heart goes out to everyone who is going through this at the moment. If things get really difficult, go to the cockroach cafe on here for practical advice. It was a life saver for me for the 6 years that I was doing this.

Sorry to hear this but I hope ultimately having the diagnosis is helpful.

Any other actions might depend what specific issues led you/them to pursue the diagnosis.

How is your DF doing? Do you think he needs breaks? It isn’t easy living with someone with dementia.

In my county, the main support organisation is local and is only open to those with a confirmed diagnosis, but once people have that, it’s pretty good I believe. Worth asking around to see what’s out there, though I hope if there were anything that they’d have passed on the info at diagnosis.