Dad not listening to diagnosis

[Changingplace]

I just need a place to vent really, my dad ended up in hospital a few months ago and after numerous tests and scans etc he’s had a diagnosis of diverticulitis, which all things considered is much more positive than things could’ve been and largely treatable with a high fibre diet.

But it’s like he’s not taking that in, like he wants the doctors to give him some medication or an operation and then it’ll go away, he doesn’t seem to get that this is an ongoing diet/lifestyle change that’s needed and he’ll need to do that.

To be fair he is overall pretty fit and healthy, was until recently active walking the dog etc and his diet isn’t bad, it just needs more fibre in it.

But this doesn’t seem to be sinking in, he keeps saying he’s had no answers from all the tests, when this is the answer?!

I’m going to get him booked into the GP again so they can talk to him, maybe they’ll get through, it’s like talking to a brick wall.

That’s tricky can you print off any literature or get him a book on the subject? Will you attend the GP appointment?

If he wants tablets, can he take psyllium husk capsules with every meal or something?

That’s a good shout thank you, I’ll look into them is that a high fibre supplement?

I feel your pain I had a dad who refused to face up to, talk about his cancer diagnosis. He passed at Christmas and one of the last conversations we had in the hospital was him asking me to get a charge nurse to find out exactly what was wrong with him cause he didn't feel right. By this point it was end of life care and he had days left

You can take fibre tablets.

i have ibs and they’re pretty good.

Ha! My mum was exactly the same. After a lifetime of poor diet, no exercise and drinking nothing except tea, she wasn’t willing to change. I gave up in the end and was unsympathetic when she complained about the symptoms. The only times I lost my temper was when siblings would suggest I took her back to the GP.

There's only so much you can do or say. It's good to support someone when they're dealing with something like this, but ultimately they'll make their own choices. Get him some literature, suggest suitable food or supplements and then leave it. There's no magic answer when someone wants to resist the situation they are in.

You could suggest he gets his memory tested next time he brings it up .”You have got a diagnosis and treatment Dad. Maybe we should get your memory checked.”

Glucomannan could be a good option. Take with a full glass of water an hour before a meal. Probably worth checking with his doctor but if he's looking for something in tablet form then there should be a few options. You could even put them all into a pill case for him.

Careful with these. You need to really up your fluid intake. I use them but only after a dietician advised me to. Don’t take six a day like the bottle says!

My stepdad couldn't even tell you what his illness is all he knows it affects his Kidneys it is very frustrating,

Op all you can do is try to explain to your dad or let the Gp do it, and let him crack on.

I also take fibre tablets mine are edible. I have bowel problems includind divitilitus flare ups, they work well. See what his GP suggests.

I don't know if it's a generational thing but my Dad was the same. He was a chain-smoking, fried food eating alcoholic but oh no all the doctors were wrong about his needing to change his lifestyle.

I also think it’s a genetational thing. Men do not like being told they are not in their prime, or that their body is deficient in some way (and that they are culpable). They want to be told ‘yup, you’re as strong as a soldier, with sky high testosterone levels and everything is in working order’.

Jokes aside, it’s difficult to comprehend and accept decline. To do so would also involve contemplating death. No wonder that elderly people refuse to listen to sombre messages. Perhaps it’s a case of ‘if i ignore it, it doesn’t exist’.

You have my sympathies. All you can do is advise, and remember to set boundaries. Don’t end up being your dad’s personal chef and cleaner unless you have the capacity and willing to do so.

Thank you everyone, I’m booking him in at the GPs tomorrow and hoping they can talk some sense into him that this is actually a real diagnosis and all things considered its something he can manage if he makes some changes.

Ive ordered him some supplements too.

Unfortunately I live 2hrs away so cant go with him but my uncles taking him, and I’m hoping him saying the same things will mean it eventually sinks in.

It was the same with test results from the hospital he kept saying nobody was telling him anything when he’d been told he needed to ring the GP to get the results, he gets an idea in his head and nothing else goes in.

Oh I’m so sorry about your dad x