Future planning

ThatAquaHam · 2026-01-19T14:25:57+00:00

I am in my 50's, married and in good health. No children and my husband is older than me. Estranged relationship with my only sibling. There will come a time when im elderly, infirm and alone. Not being morbid but considering the long term plans. What would you recommend my 5 to 10 year goal should be to make life easier including relationships and friendships so someone misses me and i dont die unnoticed behind closed doors. Ive already considered down sizing over the period to something which would be more suitable for my older years

takingthepissoutofme · 19/01/2026 14:30

A retirement village?

Strawberriesandpears · 20/01/2026 10:22

I am younger than you but in a similar situation. Only child and no children of my own.

What is going to happen to me as I grow older worries me a lot. A retirement village is my plan. I have identified where I would like to go.

I am hoping to move there in my 60s (to the independent living section). It's actually quite removed from the care part, so I don't think I will feel like I am surrounded by a lot of older people. If I need care as I age, hopefully I'll be able to transfer to their care services. It's all on the same site, so it won't feel like a massive upheaval if / when I do need to move, and there will be people on site to help me.

It is very expensive though, so I am making saving money one of my priorities.

I have also been trying to make more friends. I hope to perhaps make more friends who are in a similar situation so that we can face some of the future challenges together - perhaps even move to the retirement village together.

bringincrazyback · 20/01/2026 20:40

I’m in a similar position, only child, married but we don’t have any kids together (although after what I’ve been through caring for my own parents, if I had DC I’d not be letting them do it for me.)

Our house is bigger than I’d need or be able to maintain if I outlast DH - I’d sell up, probably move back to my home area to be near whoever of my closest friends and family are left, sheltered housing if I’m still able to fend for myself, I’d be obsessing over dying and not being discovered otherwise. And I’ll hopefully have maintained a good circle of friends so there will be people to remember me. (I have family, but not much - a history of only children on both sides, so not a big family circle, which does make me feel sad sometimes.)

It’s hard to think about isn’t it, but also wise to have some kind of game plan.

Strawberriesandpears · 21/01/2026 10:17

bringincrazyback · 20/01/2026 20:40

I’m in a similar position, only child, married but we don’t have any kids together (although after what I’ve been through caring for my own parents, if I had DC I’d not be letting them do it for me.)

Our house is bigger than I’d need or be able to maintain if I outlast DH - I’d sell up, probably move back to my home area to be near whoever of my closest friends and family are left, sheltered housing if I’m still able to fend for myself, I’d be obsessing over dying and not being discovered otherwise. And I’ll hopefully have maintained a good circle of friends so there will be people to remember me. (I have family, but not much - a history of only children on both sides, so not a big family circle, which does make me feel sad sometimes.)

It’s hard to think about isn’t it, but also wise to have some kind of game plan.

You sound very similar to me too. My lack of family also makes me feel very sad but I am doing my best to try to make more friends.