Is this something to be worried about - dementia

[tealandteal]

To start, my DM is not overly elderly as she is in her 60s but I thought this was the best place for advice.

My DM has forgotten a few things, nothing major and don’t we all as life is busy etc. However, over Christmas she completely invented or changed how she remembered something. At dinner with family, she insisted she had bought a present several years ago that she didn’t at all. I was with my husband at the time and it isn’t the kind of thing you would forget. When I mentioned that I didn’t get this, she doubled down and insisted she did. I checked with the other family member later and they also didn’t receive one.

A few days later she messaged about something that she thought I would get her for Christmas and again insisted we had a conversation about it. We didn’t, but we did in 2024. Both times she was absolutely adamant and to be honest a bit rude.

She has also started to often tell us about heated conversations she has had with strangers and I’m starting to wonder how many of them actually occur. I don’t see how she can be getting in to so many arguments if she is behaving rationally. Is this something to worry about?

Her dad also had dementia which is what made me question if there was something to be concerned about.

I have a couple of friends whose parents developed dementia in their early 60s, so it is a possibility. Is she still working?

You could contact her GP to express your concerns. Good GP's will usually act on this information by inviting the person in for some kind of general health check.

No she isn’t working by choice. She has always worked part time or not at all. She also lives alone. I don’t recall when my grandad started showing symptoms as I was a child.

Have you contacted a GP in this way? Anyone got any tips on what to say?

Does she have enough social interaction OP? Loneliness can accelerate mental decline. Lack of mental stimulation is something to watch out for as you get older.

I would be careful with saying that. Correlation does not equal causation, and there have been no large studies done.

OP, dementia is not called "early onset" after the age of 65. So it could well be dementia. This is the sort of thing that my relation started to do.

Honestly probably not but again this is her choice and she can be difficult, often falls out with friends etc.

I wrote to my parents GP - an old-fashioned letter, which meant I could word it clearly - you could use your op to help you. It also meant that the gp wasn't relying on notes from a phone call, but had full info to hand.

Hth

Yes I would be concerned. My mum started picking fights with me and various other family members and it’s only now looking back that I think she was using it as a cover-up for her poor memory. I called her GP and said I believed she needed a memory assessment but that she must not know I had called them (she would never speak to me again, genuinely). They called her in for a ‘routine health check’.