Has anyone any experience of elderly parent with dementia drinking too much alcohol?

[Rightyotime]

I expect we may not be the only people to experience this. Just wondering if anyone on here has had this experience at all? My dm has always enjoyed a glass of wine but has now progressively increased her intake to two bottles a day. It’s debatable if dementia caused the drinking or the other way around (we don’t actually have an official diagnosis of dementia) . We are at a bit of a loss what to do. Any suggestion she should cut back and she gets very angry and defensive .

My Nan is similar, although has diagnosed vascular dementia. My uncle switched out all the wine for alcohol-free wine, she hasn't noticed (but it sounds like your DM may in much earlier stages, so may not work - although maybe you can change the labels?).

Yes it’s called korsakoff syndrome. My father in law eventually‘forgot’ he was an alcoholic but the damage was already done

Yep my mum.

she does now water it down somewhat after I had to put her to bed last summer.

she’s lost a lot of weight.

i gave up mentioning it as she was so defensive.

We had to remove alcohol as my Grandmother would forget she had had a sherry and end up drinking the whole lot thinking she was having one.

How independent is your Mother? Makes a big difference to how to support really.

Smart idea.

Oh, god, yea.... Korsakoff...

Bar here called that...

As pp states it could be Korsakoff's although my professional experience has been that this occurs in people who have been serious alcoholics for many years - i.e. beyond what you have described, "liking a drink" - unless you think it's possible she has been drinking more heavily than you realised over the years.

More likely she is literally forgetting how much she has drunk, so whereas pre dementia she would know she'd had a couple and should stop, she might not actually recall how much she's had now and think it's just one more each time. She therefore probably genuinely doesn't think she's drinking that much, hence why discussing it with her is getting you nowhere.

I knew a relative who watered it down so it was about a third of the strength - person didn't seem to notice - although alcohol free wine sounds a better idea.

As good friend of mine in her early 50’s, but diagnosed with early onset Alzheimer’s, had become an alcoholic since her diagnosis. She always liked a glass of wine or two, but her husband is coming home from work to find her half cut after starting at lunchtime. Problem is, she’s still very mobile and just goes and fetches it, or orders online. She forgets how much she’s had and what time it is when she starts. It’s a real shame to see her declining in so many ways :(

Yes she is very capable physically and can just go and buy more. I think she possibly has no idea how much she has been having. Like pp are saying she forgets how much she has had and just finishes the bottle without realising. But I think she is now physically dependent. She gets the shakes in the morning and blood tests are showing liver inflammation.

I did wonder about watering down with non alcoholic. But I think it would be difficult to do without her noticing.

The non alcoholic does taste significantly different.

she would notice (although possibly not after a couple of glasses).

I feel like we are letting her down by not helping her. But I just dont know what to do. I think she would require inpatient intervention

I thought it was a fab idea

youre right that AF does taste different- but if you aren’t even thinking something could be AF- and are in the complexities of dementia- I think it’s worth a go.

another option is to mix alcohol and AF drinks in the same bottle- probably the best idea if you really don’t know how much she’s been drinking in case it was enough to require weaning off

My grandma did this. It was like she forgot how much she'd dunk and kept drinking, but before hand she very rarely drank. To be honest I thought by the time you're at that stage, what does it matter really.

sorry edited as just saw have repeated what others said! maybe korsakoff . an elderly relative has this

Yes I do wonder if this may be best approach. But I worry it is hastening the dementia

My dad spent 2-3 years drunk after my mum died. It was quite hard work drying him out enough for a mixed dementia diagnosis (Alzheimer's and vascular - not Korsakoff's surprisingly). Within a month of that diagnosis he was admitted to hospital and then residential care and forgot he drank. He lived in the care home for another decade...

It's tough. Be kind to yourself.

We also bought alcohol free wine for my dementia’s dad and also asked his local pub to serve him alcohol free beer only. It didn’t make a huge difference but mitigated some damage especially in the brief window before we managed to stop him driving (another thing to be aware of). It’s very tough, good luck.

Thank you for all your kind words. Thankfully dm doesn’t drive so that is one less worry for us