88 year old Dad had bad fall

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Hi - honestly feeling distraught.

Mum died in the summer and her end was just horrific. I was with her for her final ten days in the hospital, but I’m haunted.

Dad has quite advanced Parkinson’s but refused to go into a home and although I’ve asked him occasionally, we haven’t pushed it so soon after Mum leaving us.

A care package of 4 visits a day was set up, my brother is a five minute walk away and another fam member is in and out regularly.

He’s had a bad fall and due to being wedged up against the radiator, he’s sustained serious burns and was taken immediately to a specialist burns unit where he will be for the foreseeable.

Skin grafts might be needed.

Any of you with knowledge, what are the chances of him pulling through this all ok?

I feel SS will insist he’ll have to go into a nursing home - and for the record, my family agree. But we know he’ll hate us and I’m absolutely dreading the emotional fallout that will result.

I’m currently overseas working until March, for financial security not lifestyle, although I’m expecting to have to go home again soon because of this.

Your experiences would be welcome. Thank you.

Aww that sounds hard, it's so difficult being at a distance and not knowing whether to rush back.

i know it's hard but try not to feel guilty about this accident - maybe it would help to think that it happened because he has been able to stay at home where he wanted to be and that was a completely reasonable choice at the time without the benefits of a crystal ball.

In terms of going into a home, you will have to wait and see how he gets on for now. Do you think he would be considered to have capacity at the point he was at before the accident? People with capacity are allowed to decide they would rather take the risk of falls/accidents if it means they can be at home. Perhaps he would still have chosen to stay at home even if he was told in advance he would have this accident?

I agree that pps suggestion of taking it one step at a time and if appropriate talking about a move to a rehab placement 'to help him recover' even if you know he's unlikely to come home.

Do you get on well with your family? it makes it much easier if everyone is supportive of each other and you can work together.

It's really hard, look after yourself.

I'm so sorry to hear about your Dad. My lovely dad had Parkinson's too and a fall took him to a care home from hospital. Thinking of you x

I'm sorry too, such an awful thing to have happened. We have gone from parents living independently together in July to nursing home for one and the other struggling to cope without them all as a result of one fall, my poor DF was taken to hospital and will never go home again it has been the most horrendous shock and re-adjustment for all of us including him as he has full mental capacity and is very much aware of everything that has happened. We have had nothing but good support from all the professionals concerned. Take each day one at a time, make notes, take advice where you can .

An update. Dad is still in the burns, and they reckon at the earliest it will be after Christmas before he comes out.

They’re still deliberating over skin grafts - the decision will be made Friday.

He’s doped up on morphine and although not imminent, my brother feels that his life is winding down.

I’ve spoken with Dad a couple of times in the phone - he doesn’t say much, and seems very frail.

I’m flying out in two weeks.

It’s sad, depressing, exhausting and relentless.

So sorry to hear this, sending you ❤️