88 year old Dad had bad fall

[Showqa]

Hi - honestly feeling distraught.

Mum died in the summer and her end was just horrific. I was with her for her final ten days in the hospital, but I’m haunted.

Dad has quite advanced Parkinson’s but refused to go into a home and although I’ve asked him occasionally, we haven’t pushed it so soon after Mum leaving us.

A care package of 4 visits a day was set up, my brother is a five minute walk away and another fam member is in and out regularly.

He’s had a bad fall and due to being wedged up against the radiator, he’s sustained serious burns and was taken immediately to a specialist burns unit where he will be for the foreseeable.

Skin grafts might be needed.

Any of you with knowledge, what are the chances of him pulling through this all ok?

I feel SS will insist he’ll have to go into a nursing home - and for the record, my family agree. But we know he’ll hate us and I’m absolutely dreading the emotional fallout that will result.

I’m currently overseas working until March, for financial security not lifestyle, although I’m expecting to have to go home again soon because of this.

Your experiences would be welcome. Thank you.

I hate to say it but I would think his chances aren't good, it sounds like quite serious burns and he's already not in good health and quite elderly, did he sustain any other injuries?

Not quite the same circumstances, but my dad had Parkinson's and it was a series of falls that was the trigger for him going into residential care. Once he couldn't get himself up again it wasn't feasible or safe to rely on people coming in a few times a day. He may not like it, but at least in these circumstances you can blame the medics for the decision. And once he's there he may well come round to it being the right thing.

No other injuries but he was on the floor for a long time, up against the radiator and hence the burns. The ambulance immediately said it was a burns unit situation.

They’re saying for sure he’s there for at least a week.

My head is spinning and I don’t know whether I’m over reacting or whether this could be the end of his life coming.

I think you need to come home asap OP and see the situation for yourself. Burns are very serious and your DF may need you to advocate for him. Can you get some family leave organised at short notice?

If he had no other injuries, I would focus on getting him recovered from his fall for now. You can decide then in time if he needs more care. I wouldn't jump to conclusions that this is end of the road for him just yet. You poor thing, not a nice thing to happen. Be kind to yourself also and do take some time for yourself too, for a nice lunch or something. One step at a time ❤️

The ability of skin and the body to heal is greatly diminished at that age. Have they estimated the chance of success with a skin graft at all? Have they said there's a good chance of success? I think you need better information, but that's a very worrying situation

That’s all I know until my brother returns to the hospital later.

At the moment you’re clearly anxious and thinking about the worst case scenario - which is totally understandable. When your DF recovers from his injuries it is likely that he will be moved to a re-enablement placement for assessment. My MIL was placed in one, which in reality was a care home but with daily access to OTs and physio. From there it was clear she was not safe in her own home even though she wanted to return. She agreed to go into a care home ‘until she got stronger’ as she couldn’t walk at all by this point. Eventually she realised she would never go home, and passed away peacefully in her sleep rather than lying on a cold floor on her own at home.

I'm sorry but if he is very elderly I don't think his chances are good. If he does make it home then you need to make sure he has a lifeline alarm/ pendant alarm which he can wear on his wrist or round his neck. At least then he can call for help quickly if trapped. So many elderly people I talk to are reassured by them.

Don’t panic he is where he needs to be for now. He is probably many weeks from being fit to return home, and will be assessed before discharge.

In reality he will probably go to a care home but if you present him with each stage of his care as ‘for now’ , he may be more accepting.

Good luck it’s very hard.

Thanks for your post and actually he has one of these. I don’t know why he didn’t use it. We’ve even got cameras all around the house for us to monitor him. But the truth is - as we now know - he just can’t be alone. Whether or not he insists upon it. Thanks.

Yes I think if he didn’t use the pendant alarm - wasn’t carrying it or forgot to press it or kept thinking ‘I’ll try again in 5 mins and press it if I can’t get up then’ to the point of such severe burns’ then if he does survive, he needs to have 24 hour care in some form.

Oh your poor dad that’s very sad.Has he got any signs of dementia ? We had a similar situation with my mum. She lived in a first floor flat with a steep staircase, she had a stairlift but didn’t use it safely.
One day we found her at the bottom of the steps unconscious, no idea how long she had been there, she had suffered a brain haemorrhage. At age 90 she survived and was sent home, because she was said to be of sound mind we had no choice.

She soon deteriorated, I lived in constant fear of her falling again. She became confused one evening, a neighbour called an ambulance she was admitted to hospital were the social worker decided she wasn’t fit to live at home anymore. What a relief !
She went to live in a care home where sadly she became confused and died six months later.

If your dad is still of sound mind he could still insist on coming home. I really hope not for all your sakes. It’s s horrible time. I wish you all well.

I’m sorry @Showqa. Burns can be very serious in the elderly. I know not everyone is the same, but an elderly aunt fell and her arm was against the radiator due to lying there all night. Her skin was so thin that she was burned through to the bone. She didn’t make it as the shock to her system was too great, even though the burn was her only injury.

i hope your DF is ok, but it is possible he will be in hospital for quite a while.

I'm not a medical professional, but given his age, frailty and medical history along with the shock of the fall and serious burns, I'd be preparing to go home to see him very soon - as in within the next few days. It might be worth seeing if you can rearrange your work schedule, and get an idea of flight times and costs now, so you can go quickly if need be.

Sorry for the loss of your DM

Your DDad may really be struggling with these of his DW & this "accident" may be a physical symptom of his grief.

Sending so much love. Be aware that his cognition could deteriorate drastically should he be away from familiar surroundings for a prolonged period

Are you having grief counselling?

The big risk with the burn is infection and ulceration
his skin will be like tissue paper the chance of it healing are slim
that said with proper wound care it may not heal but be ok

as for going in a home adult SS w safeguard this and they could force the decision for his own safety without any input from you

Thank you to all that have posted. It helped to “talk” actually.

im in that unenviable position of waiting for more information when Drs begin their rounds.

My brother turned his phone camera to Dad, so I could talk with him a little. Realistically, he was very weak/tired, so we didn’t really anyway.

He had been against the radiator for 3 hours. I can’t bear to think of it.

Anyway, again, thank you all.

Just to say, if there are any signs of dementia, those pendants are useless. They will forget to wear them, or, even if they remember, will forget what they are for.

I was so sorry to read this. It is likely to be a very long stay in hospital. My experience is that he will deteriorate substantially once he stops mobilising. A long stay, being cared for will likely mean that his cognitive faculties will be less. It may be easier to persuade him to accept care on his discharge.

This is going to come across very cold, so I apologise in advance (I had some distant family involved in rescue work including Piper Alpha which is why I know this....)

There's a formula to work out basic survival chances after serious burns - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Baux_score. Basically it's
" body area affected + age of patient + 17 = Baux Score
The score is a comparative indicator of burn severity, with a score over 140 considered as being unsurvivable, depending on the available treatment resources"

This formula has around an 80% accuracy rate in people over 60. However the treatment of burns has improved massively since the formula was first created.

Depending on the extent of the burns, that might give you some idea of likelihood of acute survival, to discuss with his clinical team.

I should think even after the first ward round it will be hard to tell much and the message is likely to be ‘it’s early days’. Which is true, but don’t be afraid to ask blunt questions about their view on the survivability of this episode - provided you want to know the answers. Tbh this early on they will not be very specific, and that’s right, but it will signal to them that you do want them to be open with you - if you actually do want that.

I don’t know about burns, but that sounds desperately sad OP. I hope he’s comfortable. Is it worth calling the ward yourself, explaining you’re overseas, and asking if they think you need to get back?

I’m currently overseas working until March, for financial security not lifestyle
you don’t have to justify your life choices just because you have an elderly parent, you’re allowed to live your life.

Thank you for your understanding.