Elderly relatives - possible financial abuse

[Shanna8]

Posting for a friend who is worried about her elderly aunts who are in their 80's and live alone. The aunts are sisters who lived with their brother until very recently (all 3 never married, no kids). The brother had a male carer assigned to him for the last few years. The cleaner told my friend that the carer was asking/taking money from both sisters on a regular basis. My friend spoke to her aunts about it but they dismissed her concerns telling her the carer is a lovely man and not to worry!! The are quite sharp for their age but do not know the value of money and would not understand they are being taken advantage of. Their brother was admitted to a nursing home 4 weeks ago and she thought this would be the end of the problem. Unfortunately no as the carer is still calling round to the house. They don't invite him in, he stays at the front door but their conversations can be heard on the ring camera. On one occasion he told the sisters he was going on a trip back home to visit his family, one of the aunts leaves the doorway and comes back and hands him an envelope. Another time he said it was his birthday and was handed another envelope. My friend doesn't know what to do. She recognises her aunts are free to do as they wish with their own money but feels this man is taking advantage of their kindness and generousity. All advice would be appreciated.

She's quite right - he probably is taking advantage of their kindness and generosity. But as long as her aunts have capacity, they are free to make - what look like to her - poor decisions. Does she think he is threatening them? Scaring them into giving him money? Do they feel under pressure to keep giving him money for any reason? It doesn't sound like it.

There are strict rules about carers not accepting money or gifts from their clients, especially elderly / confused ones, though it sounds like the aunts are not actually his clients. Did she contact the company / local authority who provided the carer at the time he was working in the house to provide care for the brother? Maybe it's not too late to do this now - though her aunts might be angry with her if they find out. Has she met this man? Can she arrange to be there and speak to him directly when he appears?

What @rickyrickygrimes said, but I'd also add that if your friend is genuinely concerned, perhaps they might visit two or three times a week if they don't already. The former carer may have befriended them in the absence of other friends.

Thanks. She is in regular contact with her Aunts, she visits/calls as much as she can. No other family members want the responsibility so she is mostly on her own trying to look after them. What@rickyrickygrimes has outlined is the reasons she hasn't taken it further. The Aunts are quite independent, of sound mind and when she did speak to them they more or less told her (politely) it was their own business! She has thought of contacting the company ... maybe that is the right thing to do but if the carer tells the Aunts, that could cause things to blow up. Also, she is afraid of breaching GDPR guidelines by mentioning what she has seen/heard on the ring camera. It's a difficult one.

There are no GDPR issues as the aunts are not in business. The doorbell is doing the job it's designed for.

I would also recommend contacting the care organisation.

That's great to hear about the GDPR .... she was worried about that. I will tell her to contact the care company.