Respite care / visits - Alzheimer’s

[luckyluckyluck3]

Hi, my mam has just been diagnosed with Alzheimer’s. She lives half a day’s drive from me. I work and have two kids. Currently my Dad is managing and we’re in early/mid stages we think. I’m supporting from afar. A couple of years ago, my Dad was hospitalised with pneumonia for - maybe - 2 weeks. I would like to plan for what would happen to her if such a thing were to happen again. My brother lives much closer and would, I am sure, pop in every day or so short term but obviously that’s the case atm - this won’t be enough as we progress.

Hoping this doesn’t seem too blunt. Just trying not to bore everyone!

Sorry as that sounds hard on all of you.
A few practical things - do either of your DPs get attendance allowance? Its not means tested and can be up to around £100 per week each, depending on the level of their conditions.
Is there any care package for your DM or is your DF doing it all himself? It may be helpful to get them used to a cleaner at least as likely more care is going to be required in the future.
Unfortunately with elderly DPs it’s very hard to forward plan as things rarely go wrong in the way you expect. I would have a list of care homes in your DPs area that offer respite, that way you have it on hand if needed. But of course that depends on finances - if they have over £23k in savings they will need to pay for it themselves so making sure they have POA in place is good and that you have that activated on their main account. Good as well to ensure they have their main bills set up to be paid by DD.
If they haven’t got savings then the process will be different and I am in Scotland so don’t want to give you incorrect advice.

Thank you for taking the time to reply. We aren’t at the stage of needing a care package - that’s great advice re getting a cleaner so they’re used to someone coming in. I doubt the level of her condition (s) - she has another illness that affects her physically and has done for 15 years - is enough to get attendance allowance.

I will look into respite care in their area.

I will get more details about their accounts etc: my dad has given me what comes in and out/what they have etc but I thought at the time, I need to make sure I have account details etc. And access.

We were in a similar situation a few years ago. It's worth getting to know some potential care homes, who will do overnight respite, although you might want to "prime" with some visits so it's not a strange place if a crisis happens. Your dad is going to benefit from having respite breaks down the line if her care needs increase.

My dad was my DMs carer until she went into a home a couple of months ago. When he had operations/hospital admission my Dsis and I just took annual leave to cover looking after mum. Not ideal but we just about managed it.

She very likely will get attendance allowance, all you need to do is contact DWP with an official diagnosis letter of dementia from the GP and to fill out the form. I got it for DM in the early days when her symptoms were mild.

See if you have a local Carers organisation. The one in my county used to offer an emergency sitter’s service if the carer went into hospital. It would only be for a short period on one day but it would have given someone time to get there.

Also the local social services have crisis care that can usually start within 24 hours.

I agree with the idea of getting a handle on care homes that offer respite care, then going to visit there so it’s familiar. Quite a few have a sort of cafe setup that visitors can go to.