Need to get some advice about how to manage a situation

[PeachBos]

Last year I bought a clothes rail system. It was floor to ceiling rods and worked by suction floor to ceiling with rails going across. I installed it in the hall because we don't have a utility room at home.

My mother lived it so much she wanted one and she wasn't going to get it installing in the kitchen. She asked me to order it for her. So I did. When it came she changed her mind and she wanted it in a bedroom. At this stage I became wary because she already has a wardrobe and another clothes rail in the bedroom and I was concerned about where it's actually going to go. Also there is carpet in the room and it's just not going to work on carpet due to the suction. There was no reasoning with her so I just made excuses to be honest any time she asked me to install it. Then she forgot about it for a while.

Since then, she never respected the rail system t that was in the hall and kept pushing it over breaking the suction and seal.

Over the past week and a half she found the box that was ordered last year and she has now become obsessed with it and wants me to install it. No matter what. It doesn't matter what my schedule is or how I am feeling or what I am doing. Last weekend I was dealing with a dying pet hamster and she kept pushing the box into my face.

It's the weekend again and she wants me to install it yet again. I feel like it's not going to work on carpet and I did Google that and the response said it needs a flat surface. There's no reasoning with her.

She called my dying pet hamster and it and acted as if my grief didn't matter last weekend.

There's no reasoning with her about this rail thing that she is obsessed about. I don't think it's going to work in the bedroom that she is planning on because there's already too much stuff in there and not only that the suction would be rubbish due to carpet.

I don't want to waste my time doing this. If I am successful she likely won't respect it and keep pushing it over or push it down.

"Mum, it won't stay up on carpet. When I bought it, it was because you said it was for the kitchen. It won't stay up on the bedroom carpet. If you want it to go somewhere with tiles/wooden floor let me know. If not, we're not having this discussion again and we'll see if we can sell it on FB Marketplace/Gumtree if you want to try and get some money back on it."

Sorry to hear about your hamster 🐹 💐

I said it before to her that it's not going to work on carpet and she argued with me. I know her so much if I was to try and reason with her she will do the same. She will act like a child and say something like - 'how do you know...you haven't tried....let's try it....'.

Currently I took on an approach of excuses and deferring and things like that.

Why can’t she get someone into do it. If she can call you then she can call a tradesman?
I would just reply on repeat like a mantra. And if she continues explain you are going to end the call.

Just bite the bullet and do it. Who cares if it doesn’t work - that’s her problem.

Spending time installing it knowing it won't work is wasting my time. I could go down this route alright. Just do it and let it fail.

Do you live with her?

How hard can it be? Just put it up and let it fall over.

It’s just that it’s causing you so much angst, you might as well get it over with.

Yes, I live with her. That's why she's hounding me and I can't get away from it. She did seem to forget about it for a long time but now she is obsessed with it for over a week. Any time she dumps the request on me she shows no regard for what my schedule is or how I am feeling. I was working from home on Wednesday in my room but she wanted me to install it. Last weekend when I was dealing with a dying pet. She didn't care. I am genuinely not feeling well with an underlying condition but she doesn't care.

You need to make a plan to move out. Your mother has been annoying you for years; just posting about all the various different irritations on MN won't do anything to improve the situation.

This.

I assume you're the person who posts every so often, under different usernames, about your mother.

You need to move out.

Does she live in your house or do you live in hers? She sounds very difficult and annoying. She keeps breaking the clothes rail in the hall (seemingly on purpose) and won't listen to the reasons why it can't be installed in her bedroom.

Do you have to live with her?

Remove one of the major parts and let her see it’s not able to be installed.

Just install it and then she'll see it doesn't work. How long does it take to install? An hour? Can you not spare an hour just to stop her going on and on about it?

Are you the oil tank daughter?

If you are just move out already!!