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pinenuts75 · 2025-10-30T08:20:20+00:00

My mum is in a care home, she has dementia, yesterday my brother got a phone call saying there had been an incident where my mum was involved, because of safe guarding they couldn’t tell him what happened, does anyone know what this means please? I feel like we have been told half a story.

MorningFresh · 30/10/2025 08:25

That really is half a story and I can't see the point of it.
Is she injured? I would go to see her, ask to speak to the Manager and get the full story in person. If she is injured in any way she should be seen by a doctor. Pretty sure there are legal requirements for care homes to have proper record keeping of any incidents and obligations to inform relatives of the facts.

Lennonjingles · 30/10/2025 08:26

Could be anything, maybe she wandered into someone’s room, or someone maybe entered her room, maybe a argument, someone’s belongings gone missing, you would hope if it was something more serious, you would need to go in straightaway. Either way speak to the Care Home Manager.

Original poster

pinenuts75 · 30/10/2025 08:36

Yes I will call up today.

OP posts:

Original poster

pinenuts75 · 30/10/2025 08:37

They apparently said they can’t tell us what happened because of safe guarding in place 🤷‍♀️

OP posts:

Katie2908 · 30/10/2025 09:10

No, whoever is the NOK as long as they aren't directly involved in the incident then they need to tell you. Its part of the process to inform NOk. The only times I have refused to tell NOK about a safeguarding is when it has been directly against them. So I would demand to know as NOK and as her advocate.

Ellerby · 30/10/2025 09:15

Lennonjingles · 30/10/2025 08:26

Could be anything, maybe she wandered into someone’s room, or someone maybe entered her room, maybe a argument, someone’s belongings gone missing, you would hope if it was something more serious, you would need to go in straightaway. Either way speak to the Care Home Manager.

I doubt any of those incidents would trigger a report, they happen all the time in care homes.

OP, it sounds like violence might have been involved. Or she managed to escape/go missing. You definitely need to hear what happened!

PermanentTemporary · 30/10/2025 09:18

‘Because of safeguarding’ - sorry? Half arsed nonsense there by someone who doesn’t understand the law.

Id ask for a meeting with the manager. They may not be able to name another person involved but they can certainly talk to you about your mother’s care and safety and what changes if any are needed.

Marinel · 30/10/2025 10:20

That doesn't make sense to me. Why tell your brother about an incident but refuse to give details. Definitely go in and ask for clarification.

My mother was involved in various 'incidents' in her care home, some were minor (a slap on the arm for taking someone's cake) and some major (a resident hit and knocked her over). I was always told what had happened.

Original poster

pinenuts75 · 30/10/2025 16:13

Marinel · 30/10/2025 10:20

That doesn't make sense to me. Why tell your brother about an incident but refuse to give details. Definitely go in and ask for clarification.

My mother was involved in various 'incidents' in her care home, some were minor (a slap on the arm for taking someone's cake) and some major (a resident hit and knocked her over). I was always told what had happened.

I called this morning apparently my mum knocked someone over, but I wasn’t allowed to be told who, she reassured me both my mum and the other resident are both ok, we should be getting a phone call from safe guarding but so far heard nothing.

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MissMoneyFairy · 30/10/2025 16:18

They won't tell you the name of the other resident.,I would expect them to investigate what happened, if the home can safely cars for both residents and what, if any, safeguards need to be put in place. Does your mum have mental capacity, do either of you have poa. Good to hear they are both OK but any behaviour needs assessing.

Original poster

pinenuts75 · 30/10/2025 19:51

MissMoneyFairy · 30/10/2025 16:18

They won't tell you the name of the other resident.,I would expect them to investigate what happened, if the home can safely cars for both residents and what, if any, safeguards need to be put in place. Does your mum have mental capacity, do either of you have poa. Good to hear they are both OK but any behaviour needs assessing.

Yes my brother has poa, and no my mum doesn’t have mental capacity, I guess I was just frustrated from the fact they called but couldn’t tell us much, and had no phone call today from safe guarding.

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Louisetopaz21 · 30/10/2025 19:56

I am a social worker who specialises in safeguarding. They should be telling you what happened as part of making safeguarding personal. As your mum was the person to cause harm the home should be ensuring there is a safety plan to protect your mum and other residents and understand what happened so support can be put in place. This is not unusual to happen but they should not be cryptic.

Original poster

pinenuts75 · 30/10/2025 20:08

Louisetopaz21 · 30/10/2025 19:56

I am a social worker who specialises in safeguarding. They should be telling you what happened as part of making safeguarding personal. As your mum was the person to cause harm the home should be ensuring there is a safety plan to protect your mum and other residents and understand what happened so support can be put in place. This is not unusual to happen but they should not be cryptic.

Yes all they said was they couldn’t tell us what happened as safe guarding was in place, they spoke to my brother, so I called this morning and got told my mum had pushed someone over. What happens if safe guarding doesn’t call? Do I inform the home?

OP posts:

Louisetopaz21 · 30/10/2025 20:39

pinenuts75 · 30/10/2025 20:08

Yes all they said was they couldn’t tell us what happened as safe guarding was in place, they spoke to my brother, so I called this morning and got told my mum had pushed someone over. What happens if safe guarding doesn’t call? Do I inform the home?

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Try not to worry your mum lacks capacity so the only thing will happen is the home will have to put measures in place to ensure everyone safety including your mum. This usually would not meet the threshold for safeguarding if it is a one off and things are in place to mitigate this from happening it is a proportionate response. There could be a question that there was inadequate staffing levels, but this happens alot so not unusual. It is up to the safeguarding team to determine if it meets for further enquiries. They might not speak with you, but if I was the social worker trialing I would be having a discussion with both families to check that they have no concerns.