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Elderly parents

Beware of scams

14 replies

LynnThese4reSEXPEOPLE · 21/10/2025 10:59

More of a beware than asking advice. My elderly father has recently been diagnosed with dementia and unfortunately has the time and inclination to mess around online. As a result, he's been scammed to the tune of several thousands of pounds by a bitcoin company and despite multiple interventions by my Mum and me, has sent them more money, and most recently, two forms of photo ID.

They have now entered the phase where they are telling him he has 10s of thousands of dollars just waiting for him - as long as he pays the fees - oh and watch out, he's being accused of money laundering! That'll take more money to do the appropriate checks and paperwork.

I've registered him with CIPR and put conditions on his inbox. He has very little money to play with as he only has a state pension and he lives in my house so he can't do anything from that perspective. He's got a perfect Experian report and the banks are aware he is vulnerable, as are the police. The problem is that he doesn't lack capacity at the moment so I can't stop him doing this stuff on his phone/when we are at work.

It's so so wearing. I'd have preferred it if he'd lost the money on horse racing - at least he might have enjoyed it rather than being stressed and miserable...

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Seeingadistance · 21/10/2025 11:34

That’s awful. What a worry for you. Does he have any awareness at all that this is unwise and that he is being scammed?

Could you make sure he can’t get online when you’re not there?

LynnThese4reSEXPEOPLE · 21/10/2025 12:55

Seeingadistance · 21/10/2025 11:34

That’s awful. What a worry for you. Does he have any awareness at all that this is unwise and that he is being scammed?

Could you make sure he can’t get online when you’re not there?

I've been through it all with him. I don't know if he believes me. I wish I could restrict his internet access however ATM he has capacity

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PrettyPleasePanda · 21/10/2025 15:26

Thanks for the heads up OP.

I’m sorry to hear your father was scammed in this way. Thousands of pounds is a lot of money to lose.

In your case, if you DF doesn’t have any more money left, can he even be scammed anymore?

Also, if he is being scammed, then surely he doesn’t have financial capacity and if you have financialPOA, you could enforce it financially with his bank? My mother‘s bank told me that if ever she wasn’t financially capable, I could take over her bank account ……, though I’m not sure if that is exactly true.

LynnThese4reSEXPEOPLE · 21/10/2025 16:59

Working in LPOA at the moment. I would say (based on professional experience) that at the moment it would be argued that he has capacity to make decisions even if they are not very good ones.

Frankly, the money, whilst a large amount, is less of an issue - the risks he has taken and the potential loss of identity is a bigger problem.

I've looked at the FCA website and there is a chance we could get it back - I need to speak to his bank

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purplerain270 · 21/10/2025 17:01

This is a joke simple replying to this can encourage scammers, b warned

PermanentTemporary · 21/10/2025 17:10

Oh that’s so rubbish. My dad was in the hands of scammers for well over ten years. He managed to persuade other people to ‘contribute’.

It sounds as if you’ve put the guardrails up about as far as they officially go - which isn’t very far. I don’t suppose he would agree to converting his current account to a joint account with you, requiring two signatures??

purplerain270 · 21/10/2025 17:11

Point Proven

Mydoglovescheese · 22/10/2025 13:38

I don’t have any financial advice, but why not change the WiFi password so he can’t access anything?

LynnThese4reSEXPEOPLE · 24/10/2025 07:50

At the moment I'm considering net nanny software - the one you use for children's devices. Any recommendations of a good brand welcome!

I've spent the last 2 days digging into it and it's a mess - three different banks, two sets of scammer emails, with some genuine crypto trading accounts mixed in. It's going to take ages to unravel this.

Have to say, the banks have been incredibly helpful and empathetic.

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LynnThese4reSEXPEOPLE · 24/10/2025 07:53

@mumsnet I appreciate it's not a fun topic but this is a real life problem that I don't have a huge amount of resource to manage and I'd like to have a space to vent without being scrutinised! You'll see I have multiple contributions over the years - just sporadic as I have other stuff to be getting on with!

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Mullaghanish · 24/10/2025 07:58

Can you become a co-signatory on his account so any money to be withdrawn Needs your approval?

LynnThese4reSEXPEOPLE · 24/10/2025 08:33

Mullaghanish · 24/10/2025 07:58

Can you become a co-signatory on his account so any money to be withdrawn Needs your approval?

Once the LPOA is done, then yes, I think that will be possible. As it turns out, it's more money gone than we originally thought 😔

This is not a begging post, it's not my money and I believe I will be able to get it back - it's just going to take time and effort

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Startoftheyear2025 · 24/10/2025 08:34

He clearly doesn’t have capacity if he’s being scammed. You need to step in and take control of his spending.

LynnThese4reSEXPEOPLE · 24/10/2025 08:47

Startoftheyear2025 · 24/10/2025 08:34

He clearly doesn’t have capacity if he’s being scammed. You need to step in and take control of his spending.

I've done as much as I can legally prior to having lasting power of attorney, which can take 10 weeks to process. If I overstep, I run the risk of him disengaging with me or being accused of financial abuse, neither of which is ideal.

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