When do people usually get ‘dementia’ - IF they’re going to get it?

[CrowdedClouds]

I have wondered about this in relation to my mother, who is 88. I wonder if people could shed any light on this? I guess I’m thinking ahead, planning possible scenarios, re. independence at home, care homes etc. She lives on her own, pretty independently, though has become housebound over the last 2+ years.

She is mentally coherent - on occasion sharper than me!

Is dementia usually something that would have shown up more clearly by now - IF she was going to get it at all? Or can it suddenly appear in very old age, 90+, albeit presumably for a shorter time period?

Thanks for any thoughts.

My mum was fine until she had a fall last year aged 90 and broke her hip.
It was like a switch and since then has been diagnosed with vascular dementia. She's now 92, still lives independently and has been static for a year.

My mum was 67 ish (early onset, died at 74)
my nan in her late 70s
my uncle late 70s (head injury type as he was a boxer)

Yes, I think a fall seems to accelerate cognitive decline. That happened to my parent. I still worry that they might have recovered better at home (a dementia unit is a horrible place to end your days), but there was no way they could be safely cared for at home as they had lost the plot.

Starting at 97. Definitely dementia. Think it really varies.

The likelihood increases with age. My Dm was in her very early 80s when the first signs appeared - she went on to 97.

OTOH a friend’s neighbour showed the first signs at only around 70, deteriorated very fast, and was dead within about 3 years. Must say that if I ever get it, God forbid, I’d like the galloping variety, please - no sense in prolonging the worry and stress for the family.

Still, a GM went on to her late 80s with no dementia, and her father, my GGF, went on to his mid 90s with no sign, so 🤞.

My grandmother lived to 96 and was sharp until the end, although frail physically. She was still capable of following and participating in a conversation.

I noticed a gradual decline in my NDN over a decade. She became more and more argumentative with her husband and needed his help to do simple things like pinning washing on the line. She was also incapable of understanding or followig simple instructions. She could not operate a smart phone. When he died suddenly her decline was very noticeable. He had handled all the finances and the bills and she was no longer capable of managing on her own. It was clear that he had shielded her to a large extent from the problems of everyday life.

Ive noticed that I sometimes have difficulty in recalling a particular word or name. However I can explain what I mean or choose another word. For example I cannot recall "deportation" but I can use exile, sending away or banishment.

This is NOT dementia.

It is age-related recall loss and a normal part of getting older. I can always remember the word I want later. Sometimes I actually know that the word begins with the letter B! Minor problems like this are common in older people and do not interfere with daily life. People my age (81) can still be fully capable of doing a job and living independently.

My late father started to develop dementia after he had a major necessary surgery & his recovery became quite challenging as he argued with Mum & Carers more often. My MIL had a fall during a night & was burned with a kettle of water - the shock of her burn & possible concussion started her own journey with dementia.
So my thoughts are that for some people an event or shock can precipitate a change in brain function leading to dementia of varying degrees. But it's still a wicked disease that takes away the person you know & love.

My granny was as sharp as a tack and it was very much physical issues that killed her. 3 of my husband’s grandparents had dementia and it was painful to see. The decline in all of them happened in their 80s and all had hearing loss which I’m convinced has a link as you can see if is just much harder to engage socially. I’ve seen that with my own mum as well and hearing really does seem to be so critical to staying socially integrated.

My aunt is 101 this November. I went to visit her earlier this year and apart from a couple of times she got a but muddled about dates, she was incredibly on the ball.
I also work sometimes with dementia patients and the ages range from 60 to upper 80s. There really is no age to be honest. It's just a bunch of horrible conditions that seem to strike randomly. We have an ex CEO of a massive organisation down to a very ordinary ex carpenter with everything in-between.

Horrible

Mum currently being assessed for dementia at age 86. Started getting bad about a year ago, and has declined quickly.

Dad age 90 also shows signs but more on the ball than Mum.

Sorry to jump on your thread op, but from peoples experience - is it likely to be hereditary?

For example if your mum died of diagnosed and fairly severe dementia fairly young (70s), are you likely to get it at a similar age??

My GM was flying abroad alone at 86. By 89 she had dementia, didn’t recognise family and was incontinent. She passed at that age.

There are many types of dementia. Some have a hereditary component, some don't. There are certainly genes for Alzheimer's - which doesn't mean if your parent had it you will definitely also get it, or will do so at the same age, but it increases the risk.

@NoBinturongsHereMateThank you, I appreciate you taking the time to reply.

It’s my MIL - her mother died relatively young from Parkinson’s which then developed dementia and the decline was pretty rapid.

Im almost certain she’s heading the same way with her behaviours but immediate family are totally closed off to the idea that it’s a possibility. I don’t know what to do.

Ah, I'm afraid that is one of the ones that can have a hereditary component -although it's not a strong genetic link.

Not much to be done if everyone is in denial, but at least you kniw to be on watch. Usually the physical Parkinson's symptoms come before the dementia ones, and they can be easier to point out to people.

Common early signs may be missed because most people only know about the tremor. Look for loss of sense of smell; digestive problems - usually constipation but can be diarrhoea; shuffling; reduced facial expression; low mood; and handwriting changes - getting smaller and wandering off the line.

There's some strong but early stage research indicating a link.with the gut microbiology and vitamin B, so if you can persuade her to take a probiotic and.vitamin supplements it may help a bit (and at least should do no harm).

One thing that can precipitate a sudden decline is sedation or anaesthesia, so if she's in need of an operation at any point it's worth pushing the conversation forward. There are some anaesthetics and sedatives that are much safer than others in Parkinson's, and it's one thing I really wish I'd known earlier with my dad.

My granny clearly had dementia from about the age of 77,78. It worsened over time, she died at 92 having declined very badly in her last few years. Her sister was as sharp as a tack at the age of 93, I remember having a conversation with her then, but over the next few years she too developed the condition and had to enter a nursing home. She lived until she was 102. So it's very variable, even among siblings. Neither smoked, drank etc, had similar sort of lives.

The relative I had, in retrospect would have been early 70's showing early signs. It didn't really become apparent and be diagnosed until about 3 years later though.

My DM was diagnosed at 63.

My aunt got it at 57.

My 86 Year old FIL ( and very sharp still) describes this as ‘your RAM is full’

A fall and hip fracture is a common trigger, it seems. Especially in women. My DM for one.

DDad was mid 50s. DH’s grandma was 88. I don’t think it’s very predictable.

Or indeed any kind of major medical event. Mil’s dementia started after bowel surgery.

The elderly person I cared for (distant relative, not a parent) starting displaying paranoia traits when she was widowed suddenly and she could focus all her concerns on her late husband's family. She was convinced that her BiL could break into her flat and read her bank statements without leaving any evidence because he was a joiner and could "cover up" damage to the front door etc. She was 76/77 when I first noticed it.

Within four or five years she had started having auditory hallucinations. She could 'hear' her late husbands relatives discussing stealing her money. This led on to anxiety and panic attacks which, combined with asthma and COPD was not good for her physical health. She refused to let her GP talk to me. She was prescribed sertraline but refused to take it.

By the time she was 85 she was regularly losing (hiding) her purse in her flat and phoning the police on 999 when she couldn't find it. That triggered social services involvement, but still no referral to mental health services.

Then came covid and lockdowns when she had just turned 90. She didn't leave her flat for six months and whilst that wasn't good generally, her being convinced that people were entering the flat when she wasn't in went away for a while.

She was 93 and living in something of an affable haze when there was another crisis of some sort (there always was every time I left the country) and she finally agreed to be referred to the Memory Clinic. Her cognitive tests were very poor and the nurse running the clinic thought it was classic dementia with Lewy bodies. Nurse was overruled by the consultant who, without seeing her himself, diagnosed late onset psychosis and prescribed medication which she also refused to take. Her physical strength deteriorated rapidly at about this time.

After her 94th birthday, her GP and social worker between them referred her back to Older Adults Mental Health Services seven times. Seven times the referral was declined.

By this time she had loads of A&E frequent flyer miles. Usually because of a fall, occasionally because she was found running around her sheltered accommodation talking about the heads in her underwear or the animals in her flat, the latter always when I was out of the country.

From about her 95th birthday she just didn't function. Carers coming four times a day, barely eating, not having a clue what was going on, didn't know to pick up the phone when it rang, could barely move without falling. At 95 and four months she had a fall and major trauma, and was in hospital for a month, during which time she essentially lost the ability to speak. At Best Interests meetings the NHS just kept referring to 'undiagnosed dementia' (!) and pushed her back home saying it was social care needs. She lasted a few hours at home before falling again. After another two months in hospital she was no longer a person, just a frail collection of failing organs somehow still fighting on. I posted on this forum then about going round in circles trying to find the right setting; in the end she was moved to a nursing home on end of life care and lasted less than a fortnight.

TLDR: just under ten years from first symptoms at 76 until it became a problem. Five years of bumbling along and managing the episodes, three years of noticeable worsening before any attempt to diagnose it. NHS mental health utterly useless. A year of bouncing in and out of A&E. NHS mental health bent over backwards to avoid having anything to do with her. Final six months as a dribbling shell of a body and not much more than that. NHS still in denial about mental health needs. Social worker offered to provide her files if I wanted to sue NHS mental health services.

Mil was 90.