Change of care for End Of Life

[chocolateluvva]

My severely sick parent is receiving end of life care for the past week in ICU until yesterday, they’ve moved them to a Orthopaedic ward last night. I visited them last night as their breathing wasn’t great and had become very shallow, whilst I was there the nurses were sitting at the nursing station clapping and singing. This made me feel quite upset and felt very insensitive. The palliative team will be calling me tomorrow and I wish to ask them to move them back to ICU as I just feel he was cared for nicer there. It was calm and peaceful rather than the chaos going on in this ward.

I don’t know how things work but this is just what I feel, however if anyone knows please let me know

I am so sorry you're in this position..
However if your parent doesn't need toe ICU facilities i think they'll be unlikely to be moved back there. It might be more successful to ask for a quiter area away from the nurse's station.

Could you consider a hospice?

Icu has a siginifantly lower ratio of patients to nurses but your father doesn’t need that level of care now but someone else probably needs that icu bed. That doesn’t mean he shouldn’t have good care. Is he in a private room?

Unfortunately the hospital’s prime concern is caring for patients. Your Dad doesn’t need ICU care, and someone else does. The problem isn’t your dad’s care, it’s yours. Unfortunately there will be people celebrating recovery, birthdays, and all the other day to day things. You’ll find that tough for a while, whether in hospital or anywhere else.

Hospice or side room may help, if you can arrange it.

I’m sorry about your Dad’s illness.

I’m a nurse and unfortunately op they wouldn’t transfer back to icu for end of life care as those beds are often low in numbers for critically unwell patients. I am also sorry you felt the nurses were disrespectful but on the other side it doesn’t mean they don’t care about what you’re going through, it’s just an incredibly stressful job at times and we do tend to chat on a night time but most of us would never want to offend.

Has anyone spoke to you about preferred place of death? I’m quite surprised icu haven’t had that discussion with you. If he’s stable enough it doesn’t have to be a hospital. We do fast track discharges to care homes and hospices if the patient is thought to make the journey. My own mum died last year in her 50s in a hospice and was an icu transfer and it was a beautiful tranquil environment and so holistic compared to hospital. The focus wasn’t just on my mum, but us as a family. I sincerely believe that’s where we lack in the nhs because the resources just aren’t there. Obviously we try and make it as best as we can for families but it’s just not ideal. General wards aren’t just caring for palliation and I feel that’s where we lack. If there was such a thing as end of life wards, it would be so much more patient centred at such a difficult time

They won’t move him back to ICU as he in now end of life, and someone else needs that bed. I can understand how upsetting it must be for you. However like others have said, any clapping, singing etc wasn’t directed to you or your dad. I would ask if there are any side rooms available, that can help. In addition you could try and play his favourite music to blur out external noise. Speak with the palliative care team about your options.